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Darwin Awards
2007 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
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Elderly self-selection

2007 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

I am a firefighter in New England, where the elderly are notorious for their independent spirit, and self reliance. One morning, July 2007, we get a call for an extinguished appliance fire. We arrive to find an elderly lady in her bathrobe, clutching her chest and smoke rolling out the door behind her. She tells us, as we come to the door, that she has taken care of the problem, a toaster that caught fire. We immediately verified that the fire is out, and ask what happened. She stated that she had been trying to toast some bread and the 'thingy' wouldn't pop back up, and it started smoking. She could not find where the cord went into the socket, so she did what any person would do......she grabbed her scissors and cut the live electrical cord. She stated, and we verified that the scissors were indeed used, because of the arc that had scored itself on the scissors and the cut electrical cord. I later confirmed that the circuit breaker did not trip and the cord was still live coming out of the socket. After checking her medical status (due to the clutching of the chest) she relays that this isn't her first round with electricity. According to this wannbe Darwin winner, a number of years ago she found that her lampshade was just a touch dirty, so again, like any good house cleaner, she took the lampshade, lamp and all and dunked it into a sink full of water. Still plugged in, she finally was able to let go of the lamp when the fuse blew out. She told us that she definitely WON'T be buying another of THOSE toasters though! All the way back to the station we were chuckling quite hard.

Submitted on 07/19/2007

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference: Personnel account

Copyright © 2007 DarwinAwards.com

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James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
This is too funny! I know old folks have their moments, but this character is apparently a repeat offender. She must have a high-ranking guardian angel to have survived this long!!! Thanks for a good laugh!


Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I wonder how many similar stories she didn't bother telling you about. Thanks for a great story!


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