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Darwin Awards
2007 Slush Pile

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Wonder Woman

2007 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Wonder Woman

My very best friend is crazy. I think that's why I love her. She's also deaf and that's led to some very interesting experiences.

This particular evening, we were dressed to the nines and planning to go out dancing. K, my friend, has very soft, fine hair and she's very particular about it.

K suggested that we stop by the metro Deaf Club before we go dancing, since another friend was in town and we hadn't seen her in a while...so we do. The parking lot was crowded and we finally found a space on a sharp slope. Mind you, we'd had a couple of glasses of wine before we left the house.

We get out of the truck and start to walk across the parking lot. I am not deaf and I hear a peculiar cr cr cr noise. I turn around and the freaking truck is slowly rolling downhill towards a Cadillac! I grab K by the shirt because she has the keys and point at the moving truck.

True to nature, K hurls the keys to the asphalt and leaps behind her truck with her palms outstretched. The truck rolls right over her but she slows it down. Now, infected with K's enthusiasm, I leap behind the truck but I'm lucky. K has slowed it down enough for me to stop it but if I so much as twitch, it will roll again.

So, now what? I can't holler at K to see if she's alright. She can't hear me. I can't hope to get help from inside the Deaf Club for the same reason. How long am I going to stand here holding this stupid truck, wondering if my best friend is dead?

After I don't know how many very tense seconds, K drags herself out from under the truck and asks, "Do you have any hairspray?"

Well, no, I f*cking don't but when we go in the Deaf Club to borrow their first aid kit, someone else does. We patch K up, meet our long-time-no-see buddy, borrow a shirt for K that isn't ripped to shreds and go dancing.

We had a fine time that night. Adrenaline is an excellent aphrodesiac.

Submitted on 07/14/2007

Submitted by: Krista
Reference: Just my own experience

Copyright © 2007 DarwinAwards.com

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Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Deaf or not you're both very lucky the truck didn't roll over you and turn you into pancakes! The image of the two of you "dressed to the nines" and doing what you did sure did make me chuckle though. Thanks for sharing an entertaining sotry, Krista!


James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
That is a FUNNY story, Krista! The fact that she couldn't hear you was scary enough, but asking for hairspray after a near fatal experience was over the top! Thanks for submitting!


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