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Darwin Awards
2007 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Playing Submarine

2007 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Here's the story about a woman who almost drowned to death. Now, she didn't do it in a swimming pool or the ocean or someplace sensible. No, if she did that, how could she get an honorable mention? Here's how it probably went. 1) Rain floods rivers. One in particular is in a valley with a very low bridge. 2) Police block off said river with cruisers that have their lights going. One is at the edge of the water, the other is blocking the intersection so drivers do not need to turn around and come back. Now here's where things get stupid. 3) A woman drives up, sees the first cruiser, and decides to blow past it. Here's the thing. The water has turned the ground into something other than mud. This is in the backwoods, in a place that even the local people consider to be the middle of nowhere. The ground is saturated to the point that it's not mud anymore, it's closer to quicksand or something. I would know, I was in the area when I heard it on the radio. It later made it into the news. At this point, one would see the second cruiser and the water, and turn around. that's not how this went. 4) The woman sees the second cruiser, also with lights flashing, and decides to blow past it and play submarine in the flooded river. 5) The woman gets stuck, and needs rescue. The police blockading the river, in a moment of stupidity themselves, call in a rescue team instead of letting her drown to death. 6) The rescue team from Wylie, the nearest town, arrives and saves the woman. It's honestly surprising that the woman lived this long with a brain like that. It makes one wonder how long she'll live now that she's been rescued.

Submitted on 06/27/2007

Submitted by: Russell Golden
Reference: The Wylie News, 6/27/2007

Copyright © 2007 DarwinAwards.com

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Chip said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
Russell, we appreciate that you sent us this story, and your fine write up. Normally stupid people getting stuck in floods are hardly worth noticing any more. But the fact that she drove right past TWO police cars attempting the block the road raises this above the noise level. Thanks again.

James said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
Apparently, this happened a couple of months ago in Wylie, Texas (which has endured a LOT of flooding this past spring and even now). To just ignore police cruisers whose SOLE purpose is to prevent accidents is certainly worthy of an HM, and I too wonder how long she'll last until she has her next bout of cranial flatulence!

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