I was back home for winter break after my first semester at college, where I did swimmingly, go figure. On the last night before returning to campus, an empty root beer caught my attention. I decided to surprise a friend and make him a glass bong from the bottle.

I am not a 'handy' fellow by any means, but this did not hinder me. I went down to the garage, attached a drill bit to my father's power drill, and began drilling. A bit of "thinking" led me to reject the use of a vise, as the force might shatter the glass bottle. Of course, I didn't consider using paper towels to pad the bottle. Instead, I held it between my legs, pointing my knees together for resistance.

As I neared the end of my task, I began using my left hand to hold the bottle while my legs supported it. When the drill bit broke through the inside of the glass, the pressure on the bottle caused it to shatter! Of course, the drill in my right hand plunged straight through the now empty space -- and into my left hand.

At the hospital the doctors were plainly aware of what I had been doing with the drill and bottle. They spent two hours digging glass out of my hand. A few weeks later, a plastic surgeon managed to pull out the last piece.

In retrospect, I was probably a little too stoned.
That's why we should leave bong making to the professionals.

Submitted on 05/30/2007

Submitted by: Blue
Reference: December 27th, 2005

This is a personal account about myself, and it was close enough to my twigs and berries that I believe it to be relevant Also, as I read through one of the Darwin Awards books I noticed, to my dismay, a complete lack of Darwinian Actions by the stoned community, and thought my story may suffice.

I had just finished my first semester at college (where I did swimmingly, go figure), and was back home for winter break. This was my last night before returning to campus, and to surprise a friend I decided I would make a glass bong for him out of an empty bottle of root beer.

I am not by any means a 'handy' fellow, but this did not hinder me. I went right down to the garage, attached a drill bit to my father's power drill and began drilling. Thinking that the force from the vice might shatter the glass bottle (because of course, I couldn't have used paper towels or something to hold it in) I was holding it between my legs, both of which were pointed together for some resistance. Once I was nearing the end of my task, I began using my left hand to hold the bottle while my legs supported it.

As I broke through the inside of the glass, the tension from the bottle exploded the entire thing, and of course, the drill in my right hand plunged straight through the now empty space and into my left hand. At the hospital the doctors, clearly aware of what I was attempting to make, spent two hours trying to dig glass out of my hand. A few weeks later, a plastic surgeon managed to pull it out.

In retrospect, I was probably a little too stoned, and for you curious folk at home: leave the bongs to the professionals.

Submitted on 05/30/2007

Submitted by: Blue
Reference: December 27th, 2005

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James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I certainly hope you learned a lesson! Smoking is bad enough in and of itself, but using power tools while stoned? Consider yourself lucky...

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Not only is using power tools when stoned a bad idea, but using ANY body part as a brace when using power tools (especially when stoned) is a really bad idea. Thanks for sharing this with us, Blue.