I think this story proves why mankind evolved to wearing clothing rather than traipsing around in the buff. It's not just modesty that makes us get dressed but it's also just common sense in a world filled with so many potentially hazardous possibilities for our ahem, "sensitive areas." Even cavemen had evolved to the point of wearing crotch protections. You'd think all of us would of caught on by now but, alas no.

Our hero, "Harry", is a 73 year old nudist. As 99.99999% of us, who have lived beyond puberty, know it requires very special care when one is sans clothing. Particularly in regard to one's naughty bits and "Harry", after 73 years of life, hadn't learned that clothes are protection as well as a scourge to human comfort. He evidently is a veeeerrrrryyyy slow learner.

Harry arrived at the campground section of the Cypress Cove Nudist Resort near Orlando Florida and it seems Harry couldn't wait to shed his annoying and restrictive clothes before unloading the car. It's also possible that the big hurry was the result of being damn proud of his 73 year old, time ravaged , body and he wanted to let everyone have a gander for themselves as soon as he possibly could. Bad idea, very bad idea, for so many reasons.

While holding an armful of stuff, essential to the camping nudist, he attempted to shut the car door with his heiney.(Squeamish men should stop reading here and pick up after the next paragraph. If you read the rest you might not walk right for a week, or more!) The problem was that "Harry Sachs", while attempting to close the car door with his hairy cheeks, slammed his "hairy sacks" in the car door!

"They were only stuck in the door for maybe 5 seconds ,said the nudist who refused to give out his name. My wife was as scared as I was. As soon as I shut the door I knew I had messed up in a big way. I guess they just swung back and got slammed in there when I pushed the door closed with my butt, he said." I imagine it was said in a very high pitched tone. (Like Michael Jackson's voice.)

Other campers came to believe something was amiss when the man began to emit a shrill shriek (Think Bee Gees) that was audible throughout the campgrounds.

Even though I really don't like imagining this ever happening to me I know that, if it - God forbid - ever did, I would go to the hospital. Harry never went and so we will never know if he gets a "Darwin Award" or just an "Honorable Mention".

Remember, old men can still reproduce, (i.e. Michael Douglas, Tony Randall, David Letterman et.al.) and hopefully this will put an end to any chance of reproduction for this naked ape. It's possible he's learned how nuts it is to try to close a car door while naked and with hands full and he won't be so cocksure anymore while displaying his 73 year old, time ravaged, body. (Is there a barf emoticon available to put here?)

http://www.funtechtalk.com/nudist-slams-testicles-in-car-door/

Submitted on 05/24/2007

Submitted by: Jonathan Brown
Reference: www.funtalk.com

Copyright © 2007 DarwinAwards.com

Graham said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Eww . . . just the thought of it. Gulp! Thanks for ruining my day, Jonathan.

James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Ouch! I don't care if this is true, partly true, or exaggerated! I'm surprised he didn't geld himself! Thanks for sharing, Jonathan!

Shadow said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
As a 73 year old, we dont know if "Harry" was a grandpa, and yeah i agree ouch!

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