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(DA) Hold Your Horses
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gasoline+weed+teenager=bad day
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Darwin Awards
2007 Slush Pile

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Buffalo Stampede

2007 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Darwin says, "Accepted into the Archive."


ORIGINAL SUBMISSION:

In 1985 I visited Yellowstone National Park. On my second day, I rose early to get a good start on sightseeing. My second stop was the roadside parking lot by a large open field where wild buffalo graze. This parking lot is lined with warning signs that park visitors should not exit their cars, and certainly not enter the field.

While I was taking snapshots with my telephoto lense, a car from California arrived, parking 20 yards or so from my car. A man exited the car with a camera to take some snapshots. I heard him tell his wife that the buffalo were too far away and he was going to walk out for a better shot.

Hearing this I called over that he should read the warning signs and stay away from the animals. He said he didn't think anything that big could catch him, turned and walked to within 50 feet of the closest buffalo. I picked up the mike on my CB Radio and started calling for the Park Rangers to bring a body bag.

As soon as his camera shutter clicked, the buffalo charged. Now keeping in mind that a buffalo can run up to 35mph for short distances, I was amazed that this man was able to sprint the 50 yards back to his car ahead of the angry animal. He managed to slide to a stop, and get in the car before the buffalo caught up.

Unfortunately his car didn't escape the buffalo's attention. It rammed the car repeatedly, from the side and front, severely damaging the car's door, top, hood, radiator, lights, etc.

Park Rangers arrived within 15 minutes expecting a bloody mess. Fortunately the man and his wife survived with little more than glass cuts, and I suspect some rather interesting marks in their undershorts. The car was totalled.

Submitted on 04/13/2007

Submitted by: Steve Hudson
Reference: Personally witnessed.

Copyright © 2007 DarwinAwards.com

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Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Thanks for a great story, Steve. It reminds me of when I was a kid visiting Yellowstone and we stopped to watch an elk that was grazing. My brother (15 at the time) had a new Polaroid camera that he loved to use and he tried to get close enough to the elk to get a decent shot. The elk ignored him until he was about 50 feet away. It turned to look at my brother, who managed to snap a picture while simultaneously jumping backwards and turning to run. The elk didn't budge though, and my brother has a great souvineer picture of the elk sticking its tongue out at him. This guy was darned lucky that he managed to make it to the car before the buffalo reached him. A full grown buffalo can way 2,000 pounds, so I can imagine the damage it did to the car.


James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
The closest I've ever gotten to a buffalo was about 50 feet...behind a wall at the Bronx Zoo. Buffalo are large and very territorial. Why this guy chose to completely disregard common sense is beyond me. He obviously confused Yellowstone with Disneyland! Good PA, Steve!


Darwin Awards II: Unnatural Selection

Hardback. 240 pages. Autographed.
$15
A fresh collection of magnificent misadventures! Lust, Vanity, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Envy, and Wrath extract an evolutionary toll on the wicked. Salute the owner of an equipment training school who demonstrates the dangers of driving a forklift by failing to survive the filming of his own safety video. Witness the man who becomes a victim of his own strange passion for jumping into rivers. Heed the honest bricklayer who loses a battle of wits with 300 pounds of tools.

This book includes more History of the Awards, Gordon's Law, and 10 discussions of evolution, including speciation and the role of verbal memes in civilization.

Autographed by Author!

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