Darwin says, "Accepted into the Archive."

On the front page of the Local section that day is featured an article about two "locals" (actually locos) who ran out of gas late the night before, bought gas at a gas station, then unwisely put the nearly-empty can in the back seat--so far nothing too out of the ordinary many of us have done before. Unfortunately for them (and possibly their insurance agent), the can somehow overturned while they were driving along shortly afterward (now how did THAT happen??). Instead of using their superior intellects to pull over to deal with this minor inconvenience or at least turn on the light to look for it, one of these brain surgeons ("this is your brain on ethyl") used a LIGHTER to look for it ("I can't see the flammable liquid can--hold that open flame a little closer please"), amazingly igniting the fumes--now how did THAT happen?? Since discretion is the better part of valor, these brave souls abandoned the innocent car and watched it continue rolling on without its pseudo-genius driver into a nearby house, melting its siding and breaking a window. It all begs the question: What DID they say to the homeowner and firefighters when they arrived on the scene--"I was just curious what would happen if I jumped out of my burning car and let it roll on down the street" maybe? Nah, I'm sure they had a more original line than that, like dropping the Olympic torch while delivering it to Beijing...

Submitted on 03/08/2007

Submitted by: Larry Breen
Reference: Waco (TX) Tribune-Herald Mar. 7, 2007

Copyright © 2007 DarwinAwards.com

Chip said:
Definitely Keep: For Darwin's Eyes
Ok, I was already laughing at the first submission of this story but your write up was much better. I'll ask Darwin to read this one too. Thanks for the laugh, Larry

James said:
Definitely Keep: For Darwin's Eyes
A MUCH better write-up! Thanks, Larry!

The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom Keep yourself out of the gene pool! A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item! Friends don't let friends reproduce! $13 for Pack of 4