I was ordering food at the local McDonald's when I recieved a call for a shooting so I stopped what I was doing, my partner and I got into the ambulance and we headed over to the scene of the shooting. Upon our arrival one of the fire engines had already arrived and our supervisor for EMS was just showing up behind us, the police deparment was already there so we headed inside with our bags and equipment. On intering the residence which was a very dirty trailer in a nasty section of town we found no lights that worked so we were in the dark trying not to stumble over beer bottles and furniture that had been knocked over; then about 2 feet from the back wall of the trailer we see the man lying on the floor on his left side with a large amount of blood on the right side of his head and we see that he is breathing regularly which is a dead giveaway that he did something wrong. On closer examination we see that he has a small calliber gun shot wound to the right temple and we do not see an exit wound so we know the projectile is still somewhere inside of his head. I'll spare you all of the gorey details of the treatment and transport but suffice to say the man lived much to his shegrin... let me tell you a little aboutt what happened. Apparently from the witness story the man and several of his friends hired a bunch of prostitutes and then returned to the trailer and proceeded to get drunk and have a party with sex all around except for the victim of the shooting. Witness states that the prostitutes wouldn't sleep with him because he was ugly and smelled like urine so he told them "I'll show you" the man ran into the other room and produced a revolver which he then put to his head and pulled the trigger. That in and of itself would warrant at least an honorable mention but here's the worst part, the man did no brain damage, in fact the bullet missed his brain entirely as well as every other major blood vessel in his head, the only thing it did do was completely destroy both eyeballs so he is now blind,!

smells like urine and can't get laid.

Submitted on 03/06/2007

Submitted by: Charles Weisel
Reference:

Copyright © 2007 DarwinAwards.com

James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
We can certainly keep this as a PA, Charles! Based on your description, he may or may not have had mental problems, but a lack of hygiene is certainly one way to maturally select oneself out of the gene pool! A well-written and funny PA which merits sharing with the readers, IMO! Thanks again!

Chip said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Now THAT'S how you spell LOSER!!! Funny story! Too bad there is no supporting references for this one. Thanks for the story, Charles

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