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2007 March Slush
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Toasted nuts...
Train-surfer fried by 25kV
“No women No …”
great balls of fire
Idiot bursts into flame
Newfangled Grenade Storage
Spring Breaker Plumets to own Death
How to Safely Love Your Vacuum
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maybe you SHOULD get that looked at
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Darwin Awards
2007 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

How to Safely Love Your Vacuum

2007 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Here's another story from my email, that I think is hilarious ... hope you moderators like it! -Darwin

- - -

I was going to write you anyway, but I saw the very similar story up there. Here is another man with a similar idea, a patient of mine (the most grateful patient I have ever had!!!) He found true love in the

same way, but his vacuum didn't have any blades. He presented to me next day with a really bulbous, black head of penis, very swollen and sorry for itself. I confronted him - it was obvious the member had spent longer somewhere it shouldn't have. He initially denied the truth (wouldn't you?) but when I told him I had a fool proof solution for the prevention of recurrent damage he brightened up. I told him to attache an empty toilet roll to the end of the suction first, so if necessary, he could soak the roll off his happy pee-wee. As I say, he was the most grateful patient I have ever seen, but then I deflated him by advising him to wait for a week first!

- - -

Dear Vivienne,

What a lovely, wonderful story! I submitted it to the Slush Pile. You should be hearing from my moderators shortly on whether it was accepted. But me, I really love it. And your kind suggestion about how to safely use this method of gratification will surely be useful to many men!

By the way, I checked the box, "Show my name on the website," but not your email address. If this is an error and you wish for your name to be kept private, please do write back ASAP.

Hugs, Wendy

Submitted on 03/06/2007

Submitted by: Dr Vivienne Miller
Reference: Personal Account of a Doctor

Copyright © 2007 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
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>> Moderator Scores <<

James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I gottas hand it to you, Doc, you DO consider the patient's needs and feelings! Of course you DO realize patients very often soon disregard doctor's orders. I have a funny feeling you'll be seeing him again soon, only he'll have one-upped himself and your "cure" will be more drastic (ie a "pee-wee-ectomy")! A funny PA! Thanks!


Chip said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Oh my... oh my... painful just to think about this one! And to have to take this "problem" to a lady doctor to boot! Now this is a funny story! Thanks for the painful laugh, Doc.


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