Darwin says, "Accepted into the Archive."

I made a lot of friends at a regular poetry event in a London cafe. Not the least of these was James, a talented poet and semi-professional footballer who referred to himself as an unpaid Durex advert--the idea being that people took one look at him and decided to never have kids, just in case. One day, James walked into the cafe with a severe limp. Naturally, I asked what had happened. The resulting account had me in stitches for a good long while.

James had been preparing to cross the road. In a sensible fashion, he looked both ways before starting to cross, but he neglected to notice a car pulling out further up the road. Seeing this car heading towards him at a low speed, James realised he had to get out of the way. Now, most people would make a quick dash for the other side of the road, or take a few steps back. However, James's braincells were out to lunch. He decided that the best way to avoid being struck was to JUMP OVER THE CAR, which he then attempted.

He cleared the bumper and landed on his feet on the hood of the car, which continued to move foward at a slow speed, causing James to lose his balance, fall onto all fours, and severely bruise both knees. He then fell off the car entirely, and the back wheel ran over his foot. Luckily nothing was broken.

His doctor said that if he'd tried hurdling a car that was moving at the speed limit (30mph) he probably would have been killed or seriously injured. Needless to say he promised to to stop trying to do the hurdles on cars. He certainly gave himself a good reason for his nickname!

"Hurdles."

I used to go to a poetry event in a cafe in London. I made a lot of friends there not least of these was James a talented poet and footballer (semi-professional the last time I heard from him)who referred to himself as an unpaid durex advert (the idea being that people took one look at him and decided to never have kids just in case). Anyway, I turned up one day to see James walking around with a severe limp and naturally asked what had happened, the resulting account had me in stitches for a good long while.

James had been preparing to cross the road and in a sensible fashion had looked both ways before starting to cross. What he neglected to do was notice the car pulling out further up the road, seeing this car heading towards him at a little bit of speed James realised he had to get out of the way. Now most people would make a quick dash for the other side of the road or take a couple of steps back to get out of the way of a fairly slow moving vehicle. James however, and I suspect his braincells were out to lunch, decided that the best way to get out of the way of the car was to JUMP OVER IT which he then attempted. He cleared the bumper and landed on the hood of the car which continued to move foward causing James to fall over and severely bruise both knees. He then, in time honoured tradition, fell off and had the back wheel of the car run over his foot, luckily breaking nothing.

he told me his doctor said that if he'd tried doing what he did when the car was moving at the speed limit (30mph) he probably would have been killed or seriously injured.

Needless to say he promised to to stop trying to do the hurdles on cars and I believe certainly gave himself a good reason for his nickname.

Submitted on 01/07/2007

Submitted by: Charley
Reference: 2003/4, UK, personal account

Copyright © 2007 DarwinAwards.com

Graham said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Sounds like poor James had been watching too much Hollywood entirely! Thanks for sharing, Charley.

James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Wow, a human deer in the headlights! This is a well-written PA, and has an amusing visual as well! Thanks, Charley, I like this story! :-)

Jack said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Exactly so, Graham. That was my first thought as well, "Someone has been watching way too many TV shows!"

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