Names were changed in this story to protect the idiot involved.

Robert never was the sharpest tool in the shed. Not by any stretch of the imagination. After leaving the Army, Robert joined the mines in South Africa. On a visit to his parents one weekend, Robert learned that his brother, Michael (known as ‘Tiger’) was also coming to visit.

Robert and Michael were very close, despite fighting like cat and dog. Robert, in his unbounded wisdom, decided to play a ‘prank’ on Michael. We all know that the word ‘prank’ actually means ‘idiotic act’.

Robert strapped a kind of blasting cap to his own right hand, and proffered the hand to Michael when he arrived for his visit. The idea was to give Michael a scare, like a sort of ‘ring buzzer’ as seen on the back cover of comics many years ago, along with the ‘sea monkeys’ and ‘X-ray specs’. This gag is analogous to the ‘watering flower’ that clowns use to raise so much guffawing. I mentioned earlier that Robert was a sandwich short of a picnic.

It turns out that the ‘cap’, which Robert had stolen from the mine where he worked, was a particularly ferocious type – containing a kind of ‘touch powder’ as used in .22 bullets to detonate the powder charge. When Michael shook Robert’s hand, the inevitable occurred.

There was an immense flash, a deafening bang and both boys were thrown to the ground whilst their parents and friends looked on in horror, uncertain as to what had just occurred.

The local newspaper reported that Michael, despite the best efforts of doctors, lost his right hand in this ‘gag’. As is often the case, Robert was unscathed. Apparently, these caps blow in only one direction, like a ‘shape charge’.

Robert’s relationship with his family declined rapidly and when I saw him a few years later, we never spoke about the incident, but Robert was a morbid soul indeed.

I heard via the grapevine that Michael was fitted with an efficient prosthetic hand, but nevertheless, this is an example of the depths of stupidity to which humans can sink. What was Robert thinking? A blasting cap!

Twenty years have passed and I never heard from either of the boys again, probably fortunately.

Submitted on 01/01/2007

Submitted by: ScottyCDL
Reference: Personal Account

Copyright © 2007 DarwinAwards.com

Graham said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Just another of my own personal accounts. Happy New Year to all!

James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Ah, yes, another tale of "Robert", the penultimate "plank"! Graham, you should write a book about these people! If I recall, Robert left the army and tried his hand (real and prosthetic) at several trades before drifting off. This fellow is a beacon of idiocy and should be immortalized as such!

Jack said:
Maybe Toss: Other
I hate to be a wet rag here, but I've worked in the explosives industry and I've never heard of a non-electric blasting cap going off whilst being held in the hand.

Chip said:
Maybe Toss: Other
Jack, I am with you (you are the expert in the field). And I have never heard of a blasting cap that would be innocuous enough to explode in the hand without doing severe damage to the surrounding flesh. Maybe I am totally mistaken about that one. But good story in any event, Graham. I am looking forward to the next installment in the Perils of Robert saga

Shadow said:
Maybe Toss: Other
I have taken a little reading and I also can't find anything for a cap exploding without some sort of ignition source... Thanks for the submission though!

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