A former acquaintance of mine arrived one morning with severe burns to his face and right hand. At first he was unwilling to tell me what had happened, but after a lot of prying, I finally got the full story out of him.

His uncle wanted to be rid of his old car, and knowing that he would not get much for it if he sold it, decided the best option was to have someone set fire to it, and claim on his insurance. So he asked his nephew to do the act for him.

The young man prepared as much as he could for this operation, he took a hammer to gain entry to the car, he took a plastic squeezey bottle filled with petrol, and a box of matches, all rolled up inside a towel.

First he attempted to break the glass with the hammer, but the hammer bounced off, causing the local neighbours to look out. He ran and hid to let things settle. Again he went to the car with the hammer, and was successful in breaking the window. Once more he ran away as the neighbours were looking out.

On his return he picked up the bottle of petrol and squeezed it to empty the contents inside the car. Once this was done he struck up several matches to start the fire, not realizing that some of the petrol had dribbled on to his hand. As the matches lit his hand went up in flames, he tried to put it out but couldn’t, so he put his hand in to the car to start the fire that way. The petrol soaked car burst in to fire with a bit of an explosion, burning his face and sending him crashing to the floor. He attended the nearest hospital and told them that he had injured himself lighting a bar-b-que. It was early April at the time and had been raining all week.

He did not kill himself or remove himself from the gene pool, but when he tried to get in to a nightclub that weekend he was sent away after being told he couldn’t enter a club with a face like that!

I can supply the name of the person, but as there was a police investigation, which he got away with, I don't think this would be a good idea, but this is true.

Submitted on 12/15/2006

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference:

Copyright © 2006 DarwinAwards.com

Graham said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Yep, he's a dummy alright! Wasn't the most OBVIOUS thing to break the window, squirt in the petrol, leave a trail and then light the trail from a safe distance? This could have been a lot worse. He got lucky. Thanks

James said:
Neutral: Personal Account
I hope this fellow's uncle did right by him for all that trouble (and we don't even know what the result of the police investigation was, but I'll wager no insurance money was paid out). Good story!

Jack said:
Neutral: Personal Account

Chip said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Petrol and a flame seems to be a favorite of those who wish to remove themselves! Funny story. Third try is a charm I suppose. Wonder how he survived the investigation? Thanks for the chuckle.

Darwin said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I laughed reading, "So he put his (flaming) hand into the car to start the fire that way." I can see why Graham and James, Jack and Chip, voted "neutral" but -- that one line -- I like it! Thanks for the (discreet) submission, "Anonymous."

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