To access the molasses tap, one used a ladder fixed to the tank. The subsequent inquest made it clear that our man, finding he had parked just a mite short and so could not reach the tap, decided not to get down and move the tractor 5 feet, but rather teeter along the edge of the open spreader hopper (a metal ridge some 3 inches wide), wearing wellies covered in the usual farm shite, so he could reach the tap and open it, saving himself some 20 seconds of precious work-time. Needless to say, time being so precious, he did not trouble to disengage the PTO shaft of the tractor either, which meant he was doing his Blondin act above 3 bloody great steel augurs rotating below him.

Pity the poor workmate who eventually wondered why the tractor was still sitting there chugging gently away after an hour, wondered where our man was, put 2 and 2 together and took a peep into the hopper.

Submitted on 11/30/2006

Submitted by: Mike Clarke
Reference: none known

Copyright © 2006 DarwinAwards.com

Graham said:
Maybe Toss: Lacks Excellence
Sounds like your man divided himself nicely among his tasks. Amazing what folks will do to save a few seconds of time. I wonder if this qualifies as stupidity or sheer laziness? Either way, I guess he'll never know. Thanks for the submission.

James said:
Maybe Toss: Lacks Excellence
I think this is one of those cases where the victim figured "close enough for government work" WAS, in fact, close enough. I don't think it was so much stupidity as it was extreme carelessness. We Do appreciate the submission, Mike, and hope you'll do so again in the future!

Jack said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
We get a lot of submissions about people getting chewed up in wood choppers, but this is a new one for us and I think that it's worth keeping. However, without verification, I can only put this into the PA category. Thanks, Mike!

Shadow said:
Maybe Toss: Lacks Excellence
he was extremely careless and not stupid I think. I also agree that I would want an actual verification of the deed. Thanks for submitting and keep it up!

Chip said:
Neutral: Personal Account
While stories of wood choppers and the like eating their operators are a dime a dozen, this one seems to add that extra special shot of stupidity that brings this a cut above. The mental image of Mr. Farmer walking the rim is just too much not to award a PA to this one. Thanks for the story, Mike.

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