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Darwin Awards
2006 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
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Going Down?

2006 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Going Down?

Reggie, simply put, was a tear away. In England they say, “Some mothers do ‘ave ‘em!” At the age of only 23, Reggie’s life was already a disaster. My dad had once concluded Reggie’s apprenticeship as he, my dad, claimed that Reggie was an “accident waiting to happen.” For example, Reggie once filled a section of copper pipe with liquid flux and then poured molten solder into the pipe, causing a significant ‘explosion’ and injuring, by burning, several close by workers. You get the idea.

Following my dad’s suggestion, Reggie applied to work in the mines in Welkom, South Africa, some 200 miles away. Smart man my dad. Reggie was accepted. One of Reggie’s major shortcomings was his tardiness. He just could NOT get up of a morning. Predictably, and after several warnings from his shift boss, Reggie was soon on his last chance. This was not good. If Reggie lost his job at the mines, he literally had nowhere to go, as he had no family.

This morning, as normal, Reggie was late. He arrived at the entrance to the shaft just as the bell sounded and the shaft elevator was about to depart and take the occupants to the lower levels. These elevators are known as ‘cages’ for good reason. They are a large metal cubes, some 8 x 8 x 8 feet with a wire-mesh ‘gate’ that drops down the front of the cage to keep the occupants safe whilst they descend into the bowels of the earth. However, the gate that drops down the front of the cage does not fully cover the entrance. There is a gap at the top of about two feet. I do not know why this is so and I believe this ‘design’ has since been reviewed.

Knowing his number was up if he missed the shift, Reggie made his uncanny decision. Whether this was out of sheer stupidity, or sheer desperation, we never did discover. As the cage began its descent, even though initially quite slowly, Reggie lunged forwards and grabbed the top of the cage. He hauled up his legs and thrust them through the slot at the top of the cage. Doubtless, he intended his body to follow and he would land safely inside the cage. That was the theory. Things did not quite pan out as Reggie planned.

Although Reggie did get his body into the cage, he did not withdraw his arms quick enough. Both arms were severed mid-forearm by the top of the cage and the floor. The dozen or so men in the cage were horrified as Reggie dropped to the floor, sans arms, screaming in agony and bleeding profusely. Mining cages do not stop mid-journey; they must continue to the next level and this can take several minutes. Rags, shirts and anything else the cage’s occupants had were wrapped around Reggie’s stumps in order to staunch the flow of blood. The emergency siren was duly sounded.

This story may have had a happy conclusion, but it transpires that poor Reggie’s arms were not cleanly severed by the cage. They were actually sheared at an oblique angle as the cage passed the floor level on its way down. Reggie’s arms and hands were trapped between the cage and the shaft and were mangled beyond rescue as the cage descended.

I know Reggie survived the ordeal as he visited my dad several months later but I was too young to recall the details of the meeting. I also don’t know what ultimately happened to Reggie. Perhaps he was eventually fitted with prosthetic arms. In any event, whether out of desperation or a fit of extreme stupidity, Reggie lost both arms in this tragic ‘accident’. Perhaps an Honorable Mention? I’m not sure reports were issued about this case as the Mining Industry tends not to publicize their safety records, but many people knew about it. If anyone remembers it, please do let me know.

Submitted on 11/16/2006

Submitted by: Graham
Reference: Personal Story

Copyright © 2006 DarwinAwards.com

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Graham said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Another story from my remarkable life and a selection from a book I am compiling of these amazing stories.


James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
A tragic but somehow humorous story about a poor ne'er do well. If Charles Dickens and Mark Twain collaborated, poor Reggie would be the main character of such a novel! As stupid as he was, I somehow hope Reggie eventuially found a nice, safe niche where he can pursue happiness without harm to himself or others! :-)


Jack said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I'll vote to keep this one as a PA. Pity you couldn't find any corrobating information, as this ;would have made a good DA.


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