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Darwin Awards
2006 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Shark Kiss

2006 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

(August 2006, Florida) A scuba diver was bitten on the lip when he attempted to kiss a nurse shark. The bite was a surprise to the diver, as he had already kissed hundreds of sharks. He explained, "You pick 'em up, rub their belly, scratch 'em, hug them, you might as well give 'em a smooch while you're out there."

Past performance is no guarantee of future results. This shark took exception to his unwanted advances, and bit him. To add insult to injury, a group of snappers came in for a few nibbles, too.

Luckily, a patient plastic surgeon was able to repair his mangled lip. "It was a matter of completing the puzzle and putting (a hundred little pieces) back together again," Dr. Mike Kelly said.

Has the diver learned his lesson? Apparently not! He simply plans to modify his amorous technique: "Don't kiss a nurse shark while it's upside down."

One reporter remarked, "Better still, don't kiss them at all."

ORIGINAL SUBMISSIONS: (1) and (2).


ORIGINAL SUBMISSION (Another submission.)

A scuba diver, Dave Marcel, was not surprisingly bit on his face as he attempted to kiss a nurse shark in the waters off South Florida. He has done this "hundreds" of times before and explained, "You pick 'em up, rub their belly, scratch 'em, you hug them, you might as well give 'em a smooch while you're out there." One nurse shark took exception to his unwanted advances and bit him on the lip. When the shark let go of his face, Marcel suffered the added humiliation and pain of snappers coming in to feast on the bloodied worm-like appendage that was his upper lip. According to his plastic surgeon his lip looked like it had gone through a "meat grinder" or a "garbage disposal." Fortunately for Marcel, his plastic surgeon was able to repair the damage, although Marcel does have a scar on his lip as a reminder of his rebuffed passion. The lesson that Marcel took away from this experience? "Don't kiss a nurse shark while it's upside down."

It seems more than likely that this isn't last time that the Darwin Awards will hear his name. Luckily the incident was caught on tape available at this link: http://cbs5.com/video/?id=16430@kpix.dayport.com

- - -

Darwin found another submission at "cbs4.com".

Sep 18, 2006 1:00 pm US/Eastern
Shark Sinks Teeth Into Amorous Diver
Dr. Sean Kenniff, Reporting CBS-4 Health Specialist Dr. Sean Kenniff spoke to diver Dave Marcel about a month after the underwater encounter in the waters off Key Largo. "You kind of pick them up, rub their belly, scratch them, hug them," Marcel said, "You might as well give them a smooch while you're out there."

He's done it hundreds of times before, but this time the love bug bit back sinking five hundred razor sharp teeth into his lips. Then in a pool of blood, with his lip hanging like a worm, the snappers came in for a few bites too.

Miami cosmetic surgeon Dr. Mike Kelly has seen almost everything, but even he's never seen this. "Dave's lip looked like it had been put through a meat grinder or a garbage disposal. I mean it was a hundred little pieces," Dr. Kelly said.

It was supposed to be just a little kiss. When it comes to shark bites most people think of a Great White or a Tiger Shark. But believe it or not, bites from nurse sharks are not uncommon. Although they have a reputation for being docile animals, it's important to remember they are also wild animals.

Dr. Kelly says repairing Dave's face was particularly puzzling. "Basically it was a matter of completing the jigsaw puzzle and putting the pieces back together again," he said.

And in this school of fish, Dave has learned his lesson the hard way. "Don't kiss a nurse shark while it's upside down," Dave said.

Better still, don't kiss them at all.

It is not common for nurse sharks to spontaneously attack humans, but they can attack when provoked. Dave's kiss must have been quite a provocation. (c) MMVI, CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Submitted on 10/03/2006

Submitted by: Dan Kane, bluefireiceeyes
Reference: CBS Broadcasting, Inc., www.divester.com

Copyright © 2006 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
Love it! Hate it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

James said:
Neutral: Other
Unlike the highly touted demise of Steve Irwin, this is an example of someone going too far. The nurse shark is normally a docile bottom-feeder and like the stingray will only attack if provoked. The stupidity is quite evident in both his quotes AND the video, but there's little indication that his life/reproductive ability was actually at risk from this attack. I will give it a neutral for stupidity but it falls short of an HM. Maybe next time he'll try and kiss a Great White! Thanks, Dan!


Fitzroy said:
Neutral: Honorable Mention
On the one hand, the guy claims to have done that often before and he was never near death. On the other hand, his comments after the fact really do amount to spectacular stupidity. Perhaps a good Honorable Mention could come out of this. Either way, the contributino is appreciated.


Jorge said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention


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