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Darwin Awards
2006 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Stunt bike Taxi (Revised)

2006 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

I hope resubmiting does not annoy you but I took your suggestion to heart and tryed to make some improvements.

It was a rainy day. My brother and I decided that it may be a good idea to head up town to meet up with friends despite the rainy conditions. One of these friends that we meet up with I will call, "Bruce" Bruce was cool he was the only oriental that I knew of, in my little town in NJ that could ride a stunt bike pretty well. After a time of talking and watching him set car alarms off with his stunt bike it was getting late. I looked at my watch, it was 9:45Pm.

My brother and I had had a 10'O'clock curfew. (My parents took the, “its ten do you know were your children are.” thing way too seriously.) Since we didn’t want to get into trouble and walking home would take too long. "Bruce" came up with a great idea. He exclaimed "How about I give both of you a ride home on my bike.” He also warned us that his brakes were not working very well. Despite the unfortunate condition of his brakes. I thought to myself, “this would be fun and on top of that we would indeed make it home on time”. So my brother and I agreed.

Well, for those of you whom my not know exactly what a stunt bike is, I will give you a brief description. A stunt bike is a small bike used for performing stunts; it has small tires for mobility, and the front tire spin can also 360 degrees. The bike has four metal prongs on the tires for sliding across a curb (this is known as Grinding). Anyway back to my story. We used these prongs to stand on my brother was stationed in the rear standing with his hands on the drivers shoulders. (As I thought this was the safest second to only the bike seat.) I was stationed in the front standing and facing the driver. (Effectively decreasing his visibility.)

Now off we go down the road. My first observations in are little “experiment” were the following truisms:

1) If either me or my brother shift our body weight too far to either side we will fall.

2) If the driver dose not keep a steady ride it will cause point 1 to happen and we will fall. 3) The rain is making it difficult to avoid point 1) because the rain makes the metal prongs slippery.

This was all fun and games until we come to a “small” obstacle: A steep long hill. We now have some options to consider: The steep hilly road has a fork at the end there is also a median along the road dividing the right and left lanes. The left side of the street leads to a straight long road that will give us ample time to slow down. The only problem is that we would have to go AGAINST traffic. A head on coalition was voted (but considered) too much of a risk. (the side walk by the way was in a decrepit state and because we needed a smother surface the side walk would not have been an option not to mention we would have killed ourselves as we knew that me would be going about 30 Mph.) So the last option was of course the right side of the road, only problem with this is that we would have to deal with another obstacle at the bottom of the hill, a traffic light.

Well we took our chances despite all of the odds staked against us and ventured down the hill going about as fast as traffic as we passed some cars. (Estimated speed 35 to 40 MPH.). At one point in our joy ride we nearly meet a catastrophe as my brother almost slipped off the bike causing a sudden shift of weight to the left side. Fortunately he regained his balance and we were able to stabilize. But our problems were far from over; remember the traffic light I was talking about, it had now turned red. Since we could not stop do to the “unfortunate condition of the brakes.” We did the only thing we could do, ignore it!!

We cleared the traffic light without incident but our luck was about to run out. A lady driving a mini-van was puling out of a gas station. There was no way to avoid the inevitable. I took one look behind me and braced for impact. I’m sure my brother and Bruce did the same. We slam into the mini van! I am briefly in the air and land on top of the hood. As I lie there I see my brother flying through the air over my head and actually clearing the hood! The next thing I remember is getting up, and our friend Bruce yelling “RUN!!!” We ran away, (before anyone could call the “PIGS”) and collapsed on the safety of someone’s lawn. Our brush with the cops, the ambulance and more importantly at the time, GETTING IN TROUBLE was over.

I later find out that the only reason we didn’t end up with broken bones and my brother and I slamming into the mini, was because of his quick thinking. He aimed the front tire of our bike to the front tire of the mini van causing us to bump into the front tire instead of CRASHING into the side of the mini van. Effectively saving us from a hospital visit. BY the way we still made it home on time. And we didn’t GET IN TROUBLE!!

Submitted on 09/08/2006

Submitted by: Jose
Reference:

Copyright © 2006 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
Love it! Hate it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

James said:
Neutral: For Darwin's Eyes
I didn't have too much of a problem with your original submission, but apparently my fellow mods did. I will let Darwin sort it out!


Fitzroy said:
Neutral: For Darwin's Eyes
Yeah, plain text would have been nice, to avoid the mystery characters here. However, the effort put into refinement is much appreicated. I believe it is now readable enough to stand alongside other Personal Accounts we've passed along recently.


Sheryl said:
Neutral: For Darwin's Eyes
I'll go along with the guys. This is a much cleaner version. I don't know where those odd characters come from, they seem to surface in a lot of submissions. Thanks for taking the time to clean the story up, Jose, it's much appreciated.


Jorge said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account


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