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Darwin Awards
2006 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
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2006 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

This is a story very often told on the German Bundeswehr base where I was stationed towards the end of my mandatory army service. It's a story very well known there, so I guess it's true: In the early 90's there was a group of young officers having a few drinks in the Officers' club. One of them claimed, that the guards, or more specifically the patrols guarding the fence were draftees and not up to the job. He even claimed, that he could get over the fence, sneak into the compound without anyone noticing. He was so determined to prove his theory that he went out to do so right away... I should mention, that Bundeswehr guards are not supposed to kill intruders right away, but rather stop, capture and interrogate them... So when the two soldiers on patrol found someone trying to get over the fence, they commanded him to stop and identify himself. Well, our clever and brave lieutenant got caught in the barbed wire and was unable to get off the fence. Well, they told him again to get off or otherwise they would fire. Since our young officer was determined to show that the two soldiers were not up to the job, he did not identfy himself, too sure of their reluctance to shoot him... He was still trying to free himself of the barbed wire, which the frightened soldiers must have considered a hostile act (did I mention it was dark?).

Anyways, they fired several shots, just as their training dictated... Afterwards they reported to their commander who arrived and found a dead guy hanging over the fence (as it was early morning, they could see much better, now). Another officer recognised the dead guy as his second in command and his drinking buddys told the commander, what let to this little, uhm, incident. So they found out, it was not the enemy, trying to intrude, just a young officer with no respect for guns and draftees... But at least he could die, knowing that the barraks were save!

Submitted on 08/03/2006

Submitted by: Bob
Reference:

Copyright © 2006 DarwinAwards.com

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James said:
Neutral: Personal Account
FYI: "Bundeswehr" = West German Army (pre-reunification). I wonder if this happened when the Kaiser was in charge! :-) Well, it looks like the guards were quite up to the job after all! This may or may not be an Urban Legend (I'm accepting it as a third-hand PA), but it is an amusing tale with a moral, definitely worth sharing with the readers. In the end, it was the officer who wasn't worth the brass-plated tin his "butter bars" were made of!!


Fitzroy said:
Neutral: Personal Account
I believe variations of this story have been circulating in organized armies since Roman times. However, I wouldn't classify it as an Urban Legend because it real incidents are the likely genesis for at least some of the stories. I too believe it deserves consideration as a Personal Account.


Sheryl said:
Neutral: Personal Account


Jorge said:
Neutral: Personal Account


Graham said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Although a common military story, I liked the fact that the guards topped their second-in-command. Methinks there'll be some sniggering years from now.


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