Charles Darwin's Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
Honorable Mentions
Urban Legends
Personal Accounts
Slush Pile
2006 July Slush
Double Darwin
Troops are thick, but this???
Tarp, Shmarp!
fool with chainsaw
Boy Meets Cactus
What Cable?
Robber gets shot in gun store
man cuts off penis on a bet
Let's grab a live wire
Rob a Gun Shop with a Knife?
Man Fired For Drinking Ethanol
What a gasser!
Grilled
Grillin' with Gunpowder
Diving in caves requires train
Auckland gunshop robber
Barbecue in elevator
More Bike Tricks...
Having a Blast
Beer will kill you!
Powered Power Drill
Baby Seal Man
Roadkill Wannabe
Efficient weed annihilation
Sleeping man rolls off cliff
dumbass climbs out on balcony
How not to fix a Jet Ski
Drive-By Firecracker
Highway Paintball
Castration Works
Greece Fire
Big Red Button
Cleaning with fire
Cudahy teen, electrocuted, die
The Human Pantograph
Like Father, Like Son
Missing The Boat
Drunk wins bet, loses penis
British Columbia ferry jumper
Victim of a broken heart
Hanging around
Bringing Down the Mall
Man Burned Lighting Gunpowder
Look before you leap
Human Inferno Wannabe
Cliff plunge
Self-electrocution
Really cleaning the gene pool
Darwin Awards, page 175
Older Slush 
 
~ Randomizer ~
Newsletter
Gift Shop
Rules – Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2006 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Human Inferno Wannabe

2006 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Years ago I dated a woman whose mother was, shall we say, not mechanically inclined. Her Cadillac had an oil leak that she never got fixed -- and, when she lost the dipstick after a trip to the mechanic, she didn’t replace it because (as she claimed) she knew she could wait for the oil light on the dash to come on to remind her to put oil in the crankcase! Anyway, during one visit I noticed a 1-gallon gasoline can on the back porch of their apartment. It was sitting in the sun and was quite swollen from the heat. I asked about it and my girlfriend’s mother told me she was afraid to have the gas can in the apartment. "I understand that", I said, "but why did you put it in the sun? It’s swollen. You should take off the cap or open the pressure relief valve". She was too afraid to do that, she said. A few weeks later, during another visit, I noticed the gas can was still on the back porch in the sun -- but no longer swollen. Upon closer inspection I realized why. My friend’s mother had driven a large rusty nail through the top -- in order to release the pressure! I never could get her to understand just how close she came to being a human inferno.

Submitted on 07/19/2006

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference: not applicable

Copyright © 2006 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
Love it! Hate it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

James said:
Neutral: Personal Account
I know the type! I agree, that gas can SHOULD have exploded! It would seem that some "stupid people" are doubly protected by some sort of guardian angel on double overtime! Anyway, this was amusing enough to keep as a PA! Thanks for submitting!

Fitzroy said:
Maybe Toss: Lacks Excellence
I do not deny that the rusty nail maneuver was stupid or that it luck was required to get through it without incident. However, the lack of a harmful or even scary consequence makes me judge as I have. Of course, I still appreciate the submission and its thoughtful detail.

Jorge said:
Maybe Toss: Not Amusing

Sheryl said:
Neutral: Personal Account
I'll sit in the neutral camp on this one. I loved the write-up and the bit of background information. Many thanks for the story.

Becky said:
Neutral: Honorable Mention
Unique, but while it could have been a close thing, it wasn't. Still, maybe we should post it to warn off other idiots.

The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom

Keep yourself out of the gene pool!
A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item!
Friends don't let friends reproduce!
$13 for Pack of 4

 

 

Slush Pile
Slush Pile Rejects

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend