My story involves three people, one of which is likely to be a future Darwin Award winner. We were freshmen in high school at the time, and a bunch of us were hanging around in one of the classrooms before school started, when a large hornet landed on the back of a friends' neck.

He began to panic, until a boy, who I will call Landon, came up and flicked it off of him. The bee hit the window and landed near one of the several cactuses our English teacher kept in his room. My friend ran to the other side of the room while Landon grabbed a stapler and killed the bee with it. He then noticed what looked like yellow fuzz all over the sleeve of his jacket. A moment later, he was yelping in pain and tearing off the jacket.

It turns out that while killing the bee he had accidently brushed his arm against one of the cactuses and the "fuzz" was actually hundreds of little nettles!

Everyone quickly gathered around Landon to see if there was a way to get the nettles out, except for a boy who I will call Taylor. He didn't believe that the nettles hurt as much as Landon was claiming they did, so what does he do? He walks over to the cactus, rolls up his sleeve, and swipes his bare arm across it!

Naturally, we all burst out laughing when he started yelping in pain, and not a soul came over to help him.

What makes this story even better is that Taylor was a straight A student and one of the smartest (usually) people in our entire class.

Submitted on 07/13/2006

Submitted by: Annie
Reference: Personal Account; Oregon 2006

Copyright © 2006 DarwinAwards.com

James said:
Neutral: Personal Account
I like this story, Annie, and the ONLY reason I'm voting neutral is because you were all freshmen (who usually come in under our age cutoff of 16). As this is a PA, however, we have some leeway. I can't believe the second kid didn't take a cue from his classmate who was in obvious pain! Yes, I think we may have a future contender here...!

Fitzroy said:
Neutral: Personal Account
I feel likewise about this one. If the second student ever so lightly touched the cactus, it would be another matter. The boldness of his stupidity combines with any flexibility there might be in Personal Accounts to show some potential. However it resolves, thanks for the submission.

Jorge said:
Maybe Toss: Personal Account

Sheryl said:
Neutral: Personal Account
I quite like the arrogant stupidity involved in this story. I also like the write-up - thank you, Annie.

Becky said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I love it. Well-written, and honestly, that age is definately old enough to know better in this case, plus no one was seriously injured. ;)

The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom Keep yourself out of the gene pool! A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item! Friends don't let friends reproduce! $13 for Pack of 4