When I was in High School I had the opportunity to watch the stupidest person I know do his thing for 4 years, for this story we will call him Doug. He was the type of guy that would say "I wonder what it feels like to?" and he would do that particular thing.

The first time I met him was in woodshop our freshman year. He was tall, skinny and had both glasses and braces (I am sure he did both of them on purpose). He wore baggy clothing and he looked like trouble.

The first day actually working on our own in the shop Doug said "I wonder what it feels like to have my finger cut off". He walked over to the band saw and cut off his index finger. We were horrified and started yelling for the teacher to get the first aid kit, as 2 kids puked, it was a mess. The digit was put in ice and he was rushed to the hospital, it took 6 hours to reattach his finger. A week later he was back in school and was actually showing off his finger, like it was first prize.

This type of thing went on for the next 4 years, though not as extreme. Doug did things like jumping off a 15 foot roof onto pavement breaking his ankle, running into a brick wall breaking his nose, getting kicked in the balls by the punter on the football team... Doug was a walking nightmare, if he said it he did it, and always after that question.

The last day of school is a day I will never forget. We were walking around getting signatures in our yearbooks and I had Doug sign my yearbook. He wrote "Best of luck in the future". As I was walking away I heard him say something that made me freeze, he said "I wonder what it feels like to die"

It is now 18 years later and I have no idea what happened to Doug. We have had 3 reunions and the first thing I do is ask if anyone has seen or heard from Doug since the last day of school. No one has said yes.

Submitted on 06/22/2006

Submitted by: Tom C
Reference: Personal

Copyright © 2006 DarwinAwards.com

Jorge said:
Maybe Toss: Other

James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Why'd you toss this, Jorge?? I rather like this PA! This Doug fellow is almost surreal. Maybe he went on to pitch "Jackass" to MTV and sold the idea for a bottle of poison! :-) Whatever the case, I feel the readers ought to share in your experience with Doug! I hope some of our readers are psychotherapists and have an explanation for Doug's behavior! Thanks for the submission, Tom!

Greg said:
Maybe Toss: Personal Account
Kinda eery PA, but I like it. On the other hand, Doug was a minor and clearly had serious 'issues' ... some severe attention deficit disorder or something, I'd guess! So I'm waivering, personally. Thanks for the submission though. It's a good yarn! :-)

Fitzroy said:
Maybe Toss: Other
I suspect my own concerns could be overcome if Doug kept it up and someone had slightly more recent anecdotes to share. Because he was not quite an adult yet I feel this is not quite an excellent PA. It may yet merit consideration though, because that "I wonder . . ." behavior pretty much nails the "cautionary tale" facet of the Darwin Awards.

Jack said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I'm going to vote to keep it - it's a good story and a good write up! While not quite DA material, it is one of the more interesting PAs I've read in a while. And we've always relaxed the age limits for PAs. Thanks, Tom.

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