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Darwin Awards
2006 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
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Burning Down The FIre House

2006 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

This incident occured about 15 years ago at the local volunteer fire department. In the vehicle bay of the station we had a large all aluminum table. We would pass the time waiting for calls talking and smoking around this table.

Well being fire fighters we took it upon ourselves to study the nature of fire. Frequently, we would set things on the table on fire. Usually, this was limited to the plastic tops to soda bottles or discarded napkins. We saw no harm the table is metal it cant burn.

This evening one of my crew was taking the foam off of the glass soda bottle and placing it inside the bottle. He would then proceed to burn the foam in the bottle. This was unacceptable, the flame was no where big enough. So he walked over to the shop and added some white litium grease from an aresol can to the bottle. The flame was nicer. Yet still not as large as he would like.

So my pal walked over to the ambulance and grabed the portable oxygen tank. He placed the demand valve over the end of the bottle and filled the bottle with pure oxygen. (a chemical engineer friend of mine says WAY BAD IDEA pure O2 + petroleum = BOOM). He capped the bottle and returned to the table.

My namless friend (still a firefighter) then uncapped the bottle and held it parallel to the table with his arm at full extension. The bottle was pointed at another friends head. He said, "Your nuts." and ducked down below the edge of the table. The 27 year old firefighter with 9 years experience then lit his lighter about two feet behind the bottle.

BOOM, the bottle flew from his hand. Narrowly missing the guy ducking under the table. It proceded to fly across the bay and hit the roll up door (about 30 feet away). It spewed flaming foam particles the entire way. The bottle bounced off the door and rolled to the far end of the bay. Total travel about 150 feet.

At this point the table is on fire (glad its metal), several chairs are on fire. My friend the genius firefighter is sans eyebrows, arm hair and can not hear us laughing at him. Luckily we where at a fire house and quickly extinguished the flames. Promising to keep this quit. We decided it was time to hit the bunk room and get some sleep.

The only person injured was my pal who created the bomb. He only suffered minor burns. As trained firefighters all of us should have known better. So that is my personal submission for a near miss.

Submitted on 05/18/2006

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference:

Copyright © 2006 DarwinAwards.com

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James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
A well-told and gripping PA! I am surprised, however, that the bottle didn't break. I guess coke bottles (the classic 7 oz variety) are made of heavier glass than, say, a "Snapple" bottle! Had that bottle shattered (or worse, exploded), things could have been ugly! OK, I'll keep this one! Thanks!


Jorge said:
Definitely Toss: Repeat


Greg said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I laughed out loud at this. I haven't seen the repeat, Jorge. Like it!


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