He was a young man in the 1940s, with a nice new Ferguson petrol/paraffin tractor (the latest thing!) out on it's first run with him at the wheel. Now in those days, brakes weren't too good. In fact, that's an understatement. Tractor brakes were utterly useless! However, cheered by his shining new tractor, and the envy of the village, my grandfather forgot one simple rule of driving old tractors down steep hills:

ALWAYS STAY IN A LOW GEAR!

He climbed out of the village and ticked over the brow of the next hill in 2nd gear at a breath-taking 8mph (give or take). The hill got steeper but the engine and gears kept the machine in check and soon he began to tire of the monotony. Deciding he could go a little faster than this, he proceeded to attempt to change in to 3rd.

The hill was rather steep and in those days there was no such thing as synchromesh (the clever mechanical trick that makes it so easy for you to change down a gear in your car, regardless of the difference in speed between the drive shaft and the wheels). This meant he had one shot to find 3rd gear because, without synchromesh, once the wheels are turning faster than the drive shaft it's game over.

He missed 3rd gear first time, grinding the cogs, panicked, tried to force it in again - more grinding and no engaging. By this time the 1 tonne tractor was already going too quickly to accept 3rd gear. By the time he realised, it was going too quickly to accept 4th either! (Remember, these machines do a MAX of 20mph on the flat.)

So he hit the brakes. There is a soft grinding/whooshing sound and for a few, maybe 20, seconds the acceleration slowed, but very quickly the already poor brakes got too hot and ceased to work.

The suspension on a Ferguson tractor is something akin to a cart (I used to drive one too, so I know - though it was a 'vintage' tractor by then). This 'cart' was now touching 40mph, hurtling down the hill with my grandfather clutching the steering wheel, desperately riding it like a Bucking Bronko.

Fortunately for him, he managed to maintain his grip on the steering wheel, and a very relieved young farmer finally came to rest about half way up the other side of the valley. He realised he was genuinely lucky to be alive and NEVER dropped a tractor out of gear on a hill again!

Submitted on 05/18/2006

Submitted by: Greg
Reference: Personal Account

Copyright © 2006 DarwinAwards.com

James said:
Neutral: Personal Account
"If you can't find 'em...GRIND 'em"! A charmingly told PA which I like enough to keep. Maybe the stupidity isn't Darwin-grade, but I can just imagine his pride being shattered by this experience! Thanks, Greg!

Jorge said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Great story

Greg said:
Neutral: Personal Account
I have to remain neutral - this is actually mine... ;-)

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