It was the first day of spring break and my brother and I were helping clear an area in my mother's front yard for a garden. To do this we had to remove a bush and instead of cutting it out we liked the idea of burning it out. My brother doused it with gasoline while I rolled a news paper to use as a wick. After lighting the paper became to hard because of the wind blowing toward me I decided I could squat down close enough to the fire to light it but not be harmed. I didn't take into account that the wind was blowing on me and there were gas fumes floating all around me. One click of the lighter and I was toast. I was rushed to the E.R. in Russellville,AR by my brother. I had suffered second degree burns to my face, neck, both arms, and legs. I was treated with morphine the whole time, and on my fourth day in the hospital they did not tell me that the side effects of morphine included constipation. I nearly became sick from not having a bowel movement in five days.

Within a week of being released I was fit to be alone again. Having just aquired new skin and feeling that i could go without my bandages I decided to take my roommate's motorcycle out for a drive to get some air on my skin. After getting on a back road a vehicle drove up within 2 feet of my back wheel trying to avoid him I decided to vear off on to a side road. I chose a gravel road while driving a crotch rocket (not suitable for gravel) the bike toppled over on top of my leg, dragging me across gravel for about twenty feet, tearing off the skin on both my arms that had just grown back from the burns. Luckily I was wearing a helmet, but i would not return to the hospital, instead I waited til the pain was to heavy and went to a local clinic where I was given even more pain killers. So after two extremley painful accidents, i was on a painkiller coctail of morphine, vicodin, and hydrocodons. I went through major withdrawls for about three days after i got off the meds. But to put it in the best perspective, I should've been an award nominee, and I'm sorry to disappoint you.

Submitted on 05/10/2006

Submitted by: Joseph Stevenson
Reference: Personal Account, 03/17/04

Copyright © 2006 DarwinAwards.com

James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Holy mackerel! Joseph, that has to be one of the most *painful* personal accounts I've read in some time! I'm FEELIN' it! The stupidity is there as well. Hopefully, your "new skin" has healed and you've learned a lesson or three! Meanwhile, I think the readers should share in your ordeal! Definite PA!

Sheryl said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Thanks, Joseph. Please don't breed! :) I'll go with James on this one, it hurts just to think about.

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