One day during a field training exercise, some of the officers were mapping out the plans for an operation on a makeshift "sand table", which is a small model of an area, objective, etc. To help in illustrating his points about the features on the sand table, this Captain picked up a small stick that was laying nearby, and used it as a pointer. He held onto that stick for quite a while, and took to carrying it around for a good part of that day, holding it between his fingers, twirling it like a baton, and even pretending it was like Patton's riding crop. He was pretty proud of that little stick and the marvelous points he had been able to make with it on the sand table diagram.

It was not until later that he came to realize that this stick had come from a poison oak plant. He did not achieve that realization until after he had rubbed the oil from that stick all over his hands, and then of course rubbed his eyebrows, scratched his cheeks and the back of his neck, and of course, urinated in the bushes. I did not verify this personally, but his wife later revealed that the rashes which broke out on his private parts were quite severe, and caused him to miss work.

He eventually recovered, and so his genes were not permanently removed from the gene pool. But for the duration of the rash flare up, those genes were at least denied a vehicle for entering the gene pool, and in spectacular fashion.

Submitted on 05/02/2006

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference: none

Copyright © 2006 DarwinAwards.com

James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Hah!! I LOVE this one! Stories about arrogant military officers (the type who wrote me off as a beatnik when I was an officer) getting their comeuppance are ALWAYS welcome here! I am glad he recovered, but I do hope he learned a lesson and swaggered just a bit more humbly afterwards! Thanks for the story, I think the readers will like it!

Sheryl said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Thanks for the story. I guess botany is not a prerequisite for an officer's position. I have no personal experience with poison oak but I suspect it's not pleasant.

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