Santa Claus he isn't.

But now, Michael Urbano surely has a taste of what it's like to spend some time -- five hours -- trying to get down a chimney.

The 23-year-old was trapped within the tight brick walls of his stepmother's Hayward smokestack until about 7:30 a.m. Saturday, when a firefighter was able to somehow lie below Urbano and push him up to safety. Urbano was arrested on suspicion of being under the influence of drugs.

Much to everyone's surprise, Urbano wasn't wearing anything at all, much less a red suit and matching cap. ``We get him up, and he's naked as a jaybird,'' said Hawyard police Lt. Gary Branson. ``He tells us he took his clothes off because there would be less friction going down the chute. We did find his clothes. So that part checked out.''

Police and firefighters got a call about 6:15 a.m., after a neighbor had heard ``faint, distressing'' calls since about 2:30 a.m., and finally decided to call authorities about the mysterious, muffled noises, Branson said. Crews walked around until they discovered a disconnected chimney spark arrester on the roof of the home on Cliffwood Avenue.

There, they located Urbano, calling for help.

Urbano told police he had locked himself out of the house, so he figured he would swoop in on a cable TV wire through the chimney. The cable wire broke and Urbano fell, getting stuck about three-quarters of the way down.

It couldn't have been comfortable -- according to police, he's not a small guy.

``He's not fat,'' Branson said, ``but he used to play football. He's not that little.'' Contact Lisa Fernandez at lfernandez@mercurynews.com or (510) 790-7313.

http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/14410764.htm

Submitted on 04/23/2006

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference: San Jose Mercury News, 4-23-06

Copyright © 2006 DarwinAwards.com

Sheryl said:
Neutral: Honorable Mention
Yeah, I can see the logic - lock yourself out so go down the chimney instead. I actually quite like this one, although I can't follow the reasoning that caused it.

James said:
Neutral: Honorable Mention
I'm going to give him an HM nomination promarily for his "reasoning". He tells us he took off his clothes because there would be less friction, NOT because they MIGHT buy him an extra quarter inch on either side. I must conclude that Mr. Urbano didn't think that his SKIN would absorb the friction instead...what a ma-roon!

Jorge said:
Maybe Toss: Lacks Excellence

Jack said:
Neutral: Honorable Mention
A bit different from the usual burglar getting caught in a chimney or breaking a window to get in after forgetting one's key. I also found this amusing for some reason.

Greg said:
Maybe Toss: Other
Amusing, yes. Darwinian? I'm not sure. He might do something more worthy of an award in the future though. Thanks for a laugh! :-)

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