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Darwin Awards
2006 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Cork Grinder

2006 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

I used to work for a drinks company which used corks to seal the premium brands ofts whisky, an I was sent to Portugal to perform a quality audit on one of the cork suppliers. When wine or other corks are manufactured, there is a lot of waste material which is minced down and combined with resins and adhesive and moulded to form all sorts of stuff from ashtray holders to cork tiles. Portugal was not noted then for its attention to common-snse health and safety considerations, as I obseved when touring the factory. i commented on this to my interpretaor, who told me the story of the guy who was operating a cork mincer which was consisted of a hopper set into the factory floor above a pair of co-rotating drums, ecah of which was equipped with a series of exceptionally sharp blades. The waste cork was dumped into the hopper, chopped into 2mm cubes and sent to the mixing and moulding room. There were no safety barriers of other preventative equipment other than a deadman's handle on the machine itself, but in the interest's of time-saving this had been bound with electrical flex, so that the operator could load waste cork into the hopper whilst it was still running (you canb see where this is going, right?)Apparently the practice was to solve any jams by pushing them down into the baldes using a length of timber until it freed and the baldes started turning. Well one day the operator pushes the strip of wood too far down, and can't reach with his hand, so he tries to force it further down with his foot, putting more and more effort in as he goes, so he frees the jam, but gets drawn all the way into the mincer, and ends up as a red dye, contaminating some 5 tons of chopped cork. not even enough left for a decent burial!!!

Submitted on 04/15/2006

Submitted by: Drew Adamson
Reference: Portugal, 1992

Copyright © 2006 DarwinAwards.com

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>> Moderator Scores <<

James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
An interesting personal account, and quite believable! Quite grisly, too...Of course, the fact that the deadman's handle was taped down pretty much cements the stupidity factor, and the rest is predictable! Of course, why a cork dealer endeavoring to strike a deal with your drink company would tell you all this is beyond me, but WTF, that's half the fun of this PA! Thanks, Drew!

Sheryl said:
Definitely Toss: Not Amusing
Thanks for submitting the story, Drew. I can't agree with James on this one, it reminds me too much of the wood chipper stories. Even though it's a PA, I'm voting to toss it. We need another Moderator on this one.

Jorge said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account

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