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Darwin Awards
2006 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

oven was too slow

2006 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

I was visiting my home town of cedar rapids iowa from my long term residence of dallas texas. I parked my old pickup just off the alley way in my sister's back yard. The alley was re-paved the summer before & was very smooth. There was a bad ice storm & there was black ice all over, even the salt & sand trucks could not get out to make the rounds. I wanted to visit a brother's house a short distance away & I convinced myself I could simply get there safely in my truck by being careful. I backed out of the frozen back yard onto to driveway, but got cought in a rut, not facing away from the direction of the driveway or directly on it's path either. I was at a wierd angle & could not go backwards or forward, nor left or right. I left it in reverse, with the engine running & the door wide open as I walked around to the back & began pulling on the tailgate, jerking on it & hoping it would gain traction then planned on jumping back in the drivers seat to gain control. The truck got full traction just as I lost it & I landed on my back, knocking the wind out of myself. I looked to the right just in time to see the truck tire comming straight for my head. I moved just before accidentally running over my own head. The truck went accross the alley & partially into the garage door of the local martial arts instructor's house. He heard the sound & came right out. His limited english skills became worse as his anger grew. I began to laugh & that pissed him off enough to kick my fat ass, right there on the ice. That was a trip home I will never forget. Unless I suffer a major head trauma or do that self labotomy I have wanted to do for years.

Submitted on 03/02/2006

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference: 3/2/06

Copyright © 2006 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
Love it! Hate it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

James said:
Neutral: Personal Account
While not quite uncommon, I got enough of a chuckle out of this (especially the part of the karate instructor) to give it a neutral. We'll see what my fellow moderators think!

Jorge said:
Neutral: Personal Account

Sheryl said:
Maybe Toss: Lacks Excellence
I just can't think of a comment. Thanks for the story, though.

Charles said:
Maybe Toss: Too Common
I hesitate to mention how many people get run over by their own vehicles... I will mention that very few of them then go on to piss off a martial arts instructor; but even that could simply be reaction, and is not enough to make this really exceptional stupidity. But thank you very much for sending this to us.

Greg said:
Neutral: Personal Account
This was amusing enough I guess. But not for anything more than a Neutral...

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