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Darwin Awards
2006 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
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Accident at the kart race

2006 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Here's a personal account of how my ex-wife almost became a Darwin Award contender. It happened a few years back, I was an avid kart racer at the time. For those that don't know what kart (or Go-Kart, as it is called sometimes) is - it is a small and light racing vehicle (see http://www.nkn.com, for example), usually driven by teens, but sometimes raced for fun by adults as well. There are several points that should be made about it:

1. Despite being powered by a mere 9 or 13 hp single-cylinder engine, kart can, because of its small weight, reach speeds in excess of 80 kph on a straight part of the racing track.

2. Kart sits really close to the ground - just 3 or 4" from your bottom to the asphalt. It usually doesn't sport safety belt of any kind, and that's not an oversight - with the kind of seating it has, its not really required.

3. Kart is controlled by a steering wheel and two pedals - accelerator and brake - which are situated on the opposite sides of the steering wheel column. You use both your legs to work the pedals. Also, pedals are very simply built - just upturned U-shaped pieces of steel pipe attached to the kart's structure on rotating mounts.

Now, on to the story itself. One hot summer evening in Moscow our company (including myself and my ex) came to the track to get a little adrenaline from the kart race. As usual before the race, someone from the racing circuit personnel gave a small talk about how to drive and race safely. I've heard the rap a hundred times, and, frankly, wasn't paying any attention, until I've heard something interesting - that women on high heels are forbidden from driving a kart. Hmm... They'd never mentioned this before... The mechanic proceeded to explain that a couple of weeks before they had a nasty accident - a young girl had pushed on the accelerator a little bit too eagerly and her high heel had snapped, sending her leg forward - the girl'd lost control and the kart hit the safety barrier made from old tires at about 40 kph head on, and the girl was thrown at it with the leg still outstretched. The end result was that the leg was broken in several places, and the girl received other, less severe injuries.

Ok, no biggie, everyone had signed a form that they had received their "safety instructions" and off we went, to change into racing overalls. In 10 minutes time we were on the circuit, going on the warm-up lap. In 3 more minutes, the race was on. It quickly picked up heat, and by the fifth (and final) lap we were all pushing ourselves to the limit. I was finishing the last corner, I guess, when I heard a loud thud. As soon as I'd rounded the corner I noticed that my wife's kart had hit the safety wall on the opposite side of the start/finish lane and my wife was screaming in pain, obviously unable to get out from the kart, or just too shocked to attempt it. I was there in a couple of seconds, and the track marshals were running towards the crash site as well.

After skidding to a stop and jumping from my kart onto the track (not a wise and safe thing to do in and of itself - but I think I could be excused under the circumstances) and taking a close look at the scene I immediately understood what had happened - yes, you probably guessed it - my wife was racing in her evening high-heels, and not one, but both heels had been snapped cleanly off.

Someone called an ambulance, and my ex-wife was quickly transported to a hospital. After some time with the doctor, he announced that he didn't find anything to be wrong with her - save for several bruises and a slight concussion.

The question that was burning on my mind was, of couse, "what the hell?" Back at the track, I've asked the personnel if anyone had noticed my ex wearing high-heels - it seems that no one had paid particular attention to it, despite the warning given to us. Ok, so in the evening I've asked my wife why she weared high-heels to the race. The answer was stunning in its simplicity - "But then I wouldn't have looked so good on the track!"

Overall, it seems that history had repeated itself almost exactly - my ex was pushing hard on the accelerator when her right heel snapped off. She immediately braked hard, sending left heel to follow the right. But, thank God, it held long enough to slow the kart down and soften the impact.

I'm divorced for a couple of years now, and don't really keep track of what my ex is doing, but somehow I'm sure that we'll hear more of her sooner or later.

P.S. The race track could be seen in Google Earth at 55°52'59.90"N 37°40'13.53"E, about 500 m altitude seems to be the best. P.P.S. Alcoholic beverages of any strength weren't involved at all in this particular accident.

Submitted on 02/26/2006

Submitted by: Victor Denisov
Reference:

Copyright © 2006 DarwinAwards.com

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>> Moderator Scores <<

James said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Nice story, Victor! I'll vote to keep it for the storytelling, but I do wonder if those supervising the track shouldn't have noticed your ex wearing heels and stopped her from driving. Obviously, your ex wife shoulders the lion's share of the stupidity, if only because despite the lack of anyone noticing, she WAS warned! Thanks for the submission!


Jorge said:
Neutral: Personal Account


Charles said:
Neutral: Personal Account
I'll agree with James 100%. Yes, in this case, vanity equals stupidity...


Sheryl said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Hmmm, looks like I get to be the only female judging this one. So, okay, I love this. I especially love the ex's excuse for wearing high heels. All in all, a well told story with a little moral for the vain among us.


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