Now, the maintenance man had a recent accident, he rolled a bolder over his foot, crushing his big toe. Now off for an undetermined amount of time the management made the chef the maintenance man.

With all construction as you know, you must clear the area and the result is a number of slash piles left to burn. With little experience our chef was to burn off the piles of slash. First trying cardboard at the edge of the pile he had no success. Being a chef he thought it would be a great idea to try cooking oil to start his fire, alas, no success. Our chef, getting frustrated, tried dry wood, paper, diesel, you name it he tried it. He even strapped a pump style watering can to his back filled with diesel. Failing miserably, with 2 ½ hours wasted, and only having a small amount of the slash smoldering, he asked one of our crew how to go about starting a fire. He was told to start the fire in the core of the pile with a mix of diesel 4 -1 with gas….mmmm. I myself, was working on the roof of one of the buildings and had a clear view of what transpired next. Our poor chef got one of our crew to pick him up in the bucket of our bobcat with his mix of fuel. We all have heard the old saying, where there is smoke there is fire, so I thought. Here is our chef hovering 9 feet off the ground above a smoldering fire. Pouring a good ¾’s of the mix over the fire it erupted like a mini volcano. The chef bailing out of the bucket, jumping 9 feet to the ground, in a ball of flame, with his pants on fire, now on the ground doing the fire dance to get the flames out. It is amazing in that situation that humans always forget about Stop, Drop and Roll. The bucket of the bobcat was also in flame. It all ended quite quickly. The chef unbelievably escaped without injury and the bobcat survived as well. Now it is one thing for a man to do something as stupid as that but remember you also have the genius in the bobcat as well.

I know that almost all stories result in death putting an end to the stupid gene pool but how long do you think a man with such stupidity will survive. Not to mention the fact that he is still out there, young and ready to reproduce, women beware.

Submitted on 02/25/2006

Submitted by: Andrew Schmidt
Reference: February 22, 2006

Copyright © 2006 DarwinAwards.com

James said:
Maybe Toss: No Self-Selection
I rather feel sorry for the chef (who apparently excelled in that capacity). Forced to do something by company brass due to no fault of his, inexperienced and frustrated, he did his best under the circumstances. He sought crew advice, and was told to use a fuel mixture with near-disastrous results. I can't consider an award for someone who gave their best effort. In the end, you all got a good laugh on him. Don't be too surprised if your food tastes funny for the duration of the job! :-)

Jorge said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account

Greg said:
Maybe Toss: No Self-Selection
I see your point, James - good story though. :-)

Sheryl said:
Definitely Toss: No Self-Selection
The guy was a CHEF, not a demo expert. He asked for advice and was given it. Personally, I'd blame the guy who gave him the advice.

Becky said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I agree with Greg. Comnmon sense still should have kicked in.

The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom Keep yourself out of the gene pool! A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item! Friends don't let friends reproduce! $13 for Pack of 4