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Darwin Awards
2006 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Coach

2006 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

During the Holiday season, the company for which I work has the labor force swell 600%, the ballance made up of temporary employees brought in by agencies. Where they find these folks, I dare not ask.

Training these temporary seasonal employees is up to to a chosen few, but with the average intellagence displayed by these folks, that doesn't stop them from thinking that they know everything within a week on the floor. This certain individual, employed for less than a week, thought he'd take the inative to teach safety tips to the day's new arrivals. His topic of choice? The safety features of box knives.

Now...our company being highly safety oriented, we use a certain type of box kinfe that retracts the blade automatically once the sliding protraction button is released...at least that is the theory. Our protagonist put this theory to the test. As the blade retracted, our protagonist proceeded to demonstrate the saftey feature by running the kinfe down the length of his forearm...without the sense to double check that the fresh blade was indeed fully retracted. As you can now guess, it wasn't, resulting in slicing directly through a heavy sweatshirt and the immeadiate need of 27 stiches down his forearm.

Knowing the "outstanding" level of intellagence common to his ilk, I'm sure that this was just a mere warm-up. Painfully soon, I'm affraid, this rocket scientist-to-be will vie for contention to earn a full Darwin Award.

Submitted on 02/07/2006

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference: Personal Account

Copyright © 2006 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
Love it! Hate it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

James said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Funny enough for me to vote to keep as a PA. The "know-it-all" arrogance displayed in such instances never ceases to amaze or amuse! Thanks...!


Jack said:
Neutral: Personal Account
I'll vote for a PA.


Jorge said:
Maybe Toss: Not Amusing


Greg said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Ouch! Go on then.


Charles said:
Neutral: Personal Account
I'll go with James on this one.


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