Throughtout the summer we threw weekly keg parites to celebrate our summer of fun. After about two or three parties one friend suggested that we make a raft using the kegs that we had/were going to accumulate over the summer. The rest of us thought this would be a great idea. If kegs can float, then if we make a raft using 12 kegs, it should be able to hold our weight.

After a few more parties, we had the number of kegs that we needed. We began buying materials for to construct the raft (all told about $150 worth.) We gave the raft a slew of names- The Monogahela, The I hate Baker--just to name a few.

The big day finally came. The 5 of us had the day off work and we decided that we would sail our craft from a small fishing beach up to our work (which had a dock). We had all we needed...the kegs, chairs, poles for guiding the raft and a 30 pack of beer. We assembled the raft on the beach as many passers-by glanced in confusion. We luanched the raft, and even had a young girl take our picture on the raft. This would later be known as the "before" picture.

We did take some precautions such as calling the Maryland Department of Water Safety to see if it was legal to sail our craft. Too bad they could not comment on weather or not it was smart to sail it.

As we began flaoting with the tide the water became too deep for our poles to reach the bottom of the bay, and were rendered useless. To steer our ship, some of us would simply swim along side the raft and pull/pusj it in the direction we wanted to go.

Only one thing stood in our way of a successful maiden voyage- The Route 50 bridge. We had to navigate between the pillars that held the bridge aloft in order to reach our destination. Anyone who knows about sailing would see where our problem came. As we approached the bridge, the current picked up significantly. I was the only person "steering" the raft as it headed straight for a large, concrete column at about 15 mph. The worst part was that I was BEWTWEEN the column and the raft and I was sandwiched between the bridge and the raft. Luckily, I was able to brace for impact using my arms and legs. When I did this, the current began to rush over the raft and caused it to capsize. All hands leaped off the raft and were quickly rushed toward the bridge by the raging current. Many cell phones were destroyed (they were placed in a plastic baggie for "waterproofing" before we set sail) and all the beer was lost. Mny shirts and sandals were M.I.A. as well.

All was not lost as we were saved by a passing boat and were greeted with cheers, applause and photographs as we approached the restaurant where we worked. We docked successfully and had a near death tale to tell of for years to come.

Submitted on 01/25/2006

Submitted by: T.J. Hood
Reference: PERSONAL ACCOUNT Summer 2004

Copyright © 2006 DarwinAwards.com

James said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Not very spectacular in the stupidity department, but definitely naive at the very least, and a good "sea story" whatever the case! For that I will vote neutral PA and see what my fellow mods think...

Jack said:
Neutral: Personal Account
With the use of a spell checker, I'd give this a two thumbs up for a "definitely keep." As It is, it's good enough to keep and see what our readers think of it. Thanks, T.J.

Charles said:
Neutral: Personal Account
I'll go along with my fellow moderators. Not quite Darwin-grade stupidity, in my opinion, but possibly worth a mention as a PA...

Jorge said:
Neutral: Personal Account

Greg said:
Neutral: Personal Account
I agree with my fellow mods.

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