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2006 January Slush
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Darwin Awards
2006 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Mauled Mugger

2006 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Darwin says, "Accepted into the Archive. And well written, Iain!"


ORIGINAL SUBMISSION:

Every criminal, regardless of the scale, has one really big job in their lifetime. The bank robber robs the million pound bank. The car theif makes a quick getaway in a Ferrari. Or the mugger finds the ultimate hiding place. Well, if you're a car theif or a bank robber, keep away from the big job, as the mugger has allready found out it doesn't go to plan...

Two muggers had just robbed their latest victims, and needed to escape. One of the two reached safety and escaped. But the other could go no further. Perhaps he should have spent his ill gotten gains on a trip to the gym. But then he spotted a high fence, and, certain he had found a foolproof escape, he leapt over it. Sure enough, no-one followed. But it seems he had failed to take into consideration the fact that he was in a zoo, and that the fence might not be there for his convinience. Just as he was congratulating himself on his escape, the reason he was not followed became apparent: he was sharing his cage with a number of angry tigers!

It seems that his plan was foolproof, as the tigers quickly set to work removing the nearest fool. Sadly, he went to waste, as the tigers had allready been fed and had no further use for his remains. Police said a post mortem would be carried out to determine the exact cause of his death - as if that wasn't obvious.

Submitted on 01/02/2006

Submitted by: Iain Macdonald
Reference: Required Rewrite

Copyright © 2006 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
Love it! Hate it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

James said:
Neutral: For Darwin's Eyes
Thanks, we have this already but I like the write-up...perhaps the best yet on this story, so I'm passing it on to Darwin...


Greg said:
Neutral: For Darwin's Eyes
Yes - good write-up. One for Darwin. (Though it is a repeat.)


Jack said:
Definitely Keep: For Darwin's Eyes
I shall (abet somewhat reluctanly) concur with my fellow Moderators.


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