Charles Darwin's Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
Honorable Mentions
Urban Legends
Personal Accounts
Slush Pile
2005 December Slush
Broom pleasure???
Would be Wild E. Coyote
Better him than me
Some dreams deserve to die
Score Some Good Shit
Don't Pick The Flowers
Mugger dies in tiger enclosure
Pop goes the Megan!
Hair spray fire death
Bottle Rockets
Un adepte du tuning saute avec
need a jump?
Hunter Nearly killed by train
Explosive mix
Supermanning
Drive? Sail? Why not both?
3rd man killed by train
collecting dud rounds
I can hide here from the cops
Polonaise to death
Out of the frying pan...
snowmobile versus train
Human Frogger
"This will not explode."
Nailed
Boater injured by propeller
Personal Account: Tram Kill
Tech-Soilder finds leak in tan
Two men drown
Thief killed by Tiger
Human Wrecking Ball
At-Risk Survivor candidate
Tarzan Scoutleader
Lock Out Lessons
Lacking Brains and License
Lake Minnetonka Ice Fishing
Killed by fire extinguisher
Keep Your Hands To Yourself
Lose face while making popcorn
God's Surprise
Redneck truck Repair
Rodel Around the Clock
Suicide by Boat Ramp
Row your boat
Cell Phone Swallower
Re: Tasty! et al
Woman Swallows Cell Phone
Older Slush 
 
~ Randomizer ~
Newsletter
Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
SiteMap
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2005 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Redneck truck Repair

2005 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

My dad and I run a small motor shop in the Southern area of New York State, one of my dad's friends came over to help us put a new 454 big block V8 in dad's 4x4 Chevy, and he had an interesting story. Jack, who we both knew was a real red-neck deal, duct tape and bailing wire repair was a favorite of his but on this occasion it just wasn’t enough. Jack's 350 Chevy 4x4 had a leak in the oil pan from last time we all went off roading up the powerline, and he thought of a quick and easy way to fix the problem, he would weld the hole closed with his brand new MIG welder, well jack being jack never bothered to drain the oil, or even remove and clean the pan, nope he just crawled under the truck, and attempted to weld the hole closed, and as expected it instantly burst in flames, now this is where this get interesting see jack was a volunteer fireman and had a half dozen fire extinguishers around his shop, but, not wanting to "waste" one he figured he'd just start up the truck and drive out in the yard and put it out with the hose. now the 350 Chevy motor he had was one I built myself for him, it had quite high compression heads and a large holly 4 barrel carburetor, and when he turned the key the pressure jumped to 100 pounds of pressure per inch, which caused the oil to blow out in a highly compressed jet of burning flames and about five seconds later the engine was dry and the motor seized due to the now intense heat, the choke on the carb was still open and the electric fuel pump was flowing at full power and sending 110 gallons an hour of hi-octane gas into the crankcase which promptly exploded. jack escaped with only minor burns, but the truck, grange and all his tools were lost. My dad and I run a small motor shop in the Southern area of New York State, one of my dad's friends came over to help us put a new 454 big block V8 in dad's 4x4 Chevy, and he had an interesting story. Jack, who we both knew was a real red-neck deal, duct tape and bailing wire repair was a favorite of his but on this occasion it just wasn’t enough. Jack's 350 Chevy 4x4 had a leak in the oil pan from last time we all went off roading up the powerline, and he thought of a quick and easy way to fix the problem, he would weld the hole closed with his brand new MIG welder, well jack being jack never bothered to drain the oil, or even remove and clean the pan, nope he just crawled under the truck, and attempted to weld the hole closed, and as expected it instantly burst in flames, now this is where this get interesting see jack was a volunteer fireman and had a half dozen fire extinguishers around his shop, but, not wanting to "waste" one he figured he'd just start up the truck and drive out in the yard and put it out with the hose. Now the 350 Chevy motor he had was one I built myself for him, it had quite high compression heads and a large holly 4 barrel carburetor, and when he turned the key the pressure jumped to 100 pounds of pressure per inch, which caused the oil to blow out in a highly compressed jet of burning flames and about five seconds later the engine was dry and the motor seized due to the now intense heat, the choke on the carb was still open and the electric fuel pump was flowing at full power and sending 110 gallons an hour of hi-octane gas into the crankcase which promptly exploded. Jack escaped with only minor burns, but the truck, grange and all his tools were lost.

Submitted on 12/26/2005

Submitted by: Dusty Dran
Reference:

Copyright © 2005 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
Love it! Hate it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I find it a bit hard to believe that a) he didn't get fried instantly (as is usually the case when welding on or close to flammable automotive drippings) and b) he was able to start a car that was on fire, but I rather like the story as a whole and I like the fact that he didn't use one of thirteen fire extinguishers he had on hand. I'll bite and give this one a nod as a PA...


Tracy said:
Neutral: Personal Account


Jack said:
Maybe Toss: Other
I have a hard time with this - if Jack was working under the truck with his welder when it "burst into flames," how did he manage to crawl out from under, start up the truck and drive it out of the garage area? Thanks for the submission, Dusty, but a better write-up is needed!


Charles said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I'll side with James. There are some inconsistencies here -- I don't think the oil pan usually runs at 100PSI, for instance: though I would expect a slightly elevated pressure there, 100PSI in the oil pan would fire the dipstick through the hood... and a sufficiently raised 350 Chevy, I expect you could scramble out from under pretty fast when the flames started. I suspect the hole was bigger than reported... which is why it dried out so fast.


The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom

Keep yourself out of the gene pool!
A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item!
Friends don't let friends reproduce!
$13 for Pack of 4

 

 

Slush Pile
Slush Pile Rejects

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend