My family loved to travel, and in the winter of 5th grade, I was dragged along to Australia where we spent the next 6 months. As an ignorant American, I was extremely unfamilar with an aspect of everyday Australian life: the trams.

Running parrallel to our house, the tram passed every 20 minutes or so, honking its horn to scare off any potential idiots who might take a shortcut across the tracks.

My mother insisted on signing me up for tennis lessons, and the courts were exactly on the other side of the tracks. I could see them from my bedroom window! Alas, the only crosswalk across the tracks was a 3 minute walk to the left, and that is just too long for a 10 year old. However, I was always deathly afraid of cutting across the tracks, and so I trekked to the crosswalk every Thursday to avoid possibly being run over.

My last lesson was almost my last day alive. Already 5 minutes late, and too lazy to walk such a long distance to safely go over the tracks, I decided it was time I faced my fears and cut across. It took me 5 more minutes to gather up the nerve to duck under the barbed wire fence, and a further 2 minutes to actually sprint across.

Somehow, in my deep concentration of building my nerves, I managed to miss the deep rumbling of an oncoming tram, and its repeated honks signaling people waiting that it was, in fact, the tram they were supposed to get on and not some apparation. I also decided to cut across the tracks at the exact time that the tram left the platform, instead of waiting 5 seconds for it to pass.

My stupidity hit me like, well, almost like a tram, as I sprinted over the tracks only to hear the deafening honk and see the bright red tram hurtling towards me, ready to barrel over me and hand my a Darwin Award on the way.

Luckily, (or unluckily for the rest of the human race), I chose the right moment NOT to be struck with "deer-in-headlights syndrome." As I ducked under the fence on the other side and looked over my shoulder, I expected the conductor to be shaking his fist at me from the window, or perhaps aiming a shotgun at me to finish me off for the greater good. The tram was gone, however, and thus, I lived to see another day.

Adding insult to almost-injury, I realized the next day that had I actually paid attention to my surroundings, I would have noticed that there was a crosswalk to the LEFT of my home, just a few steps away.

Submitted on 12/16/2005

Submitted by: Laurie
Reference:

Copyright © 2005 DarwinAwards.com

James said:
Neutral: Personal Account
A gripping tale indeed, but you lived to tell. Definitely worth keeping as a PA if only for the good write-up!

Jack said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I also like the write up, particularly the last paragraph! We're somewhat leery of irony, but in this case, it made me laugh. Thanks, Laurie.

Greg said:
Neutral: Personal Account
You were a bit young, but such a great write-up makes me think "why not?" - thanks!

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