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Darwin Awards
2005 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Athletic Bandit

2005 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

While I'm not sure of the exact dates due to my advancing age, this is about an event that I was involved in. When I was a deputy sheriff in Amarillo, Texas, in 1971, I responded to a call of a robbery in progress. When I arrived, I saw a small crowd chasing a man down the street. I was told that he had entered a small convenience store, pulled a large knife, & announced that it was a holdup. The store owner, an elderly man of Asian lineage who barely spoke english, reacted by brandishing an even larger machete. The startled robber turned & fled with the old man & his machete in hot pursuit. Outside, a crowd of bystanders joined the chase. Of course, I sped off in pursuit also. The hapless bandit looked back at us, realized that he was in better physical condition that the "posse" & with a running start, propelled himself over the top of an 8' wooden fence. We heard him laughing about the "fat fools", then he started screaming & we heard snarling, growling, & barking. When we went around to the front & gained entrance, we learned that the guy had jumped in the back yard of a K-9 training school where he was immediately attacked by the "students". Only the immediate intervention of the K-9 trainers saved him from being a full Darwin award winner. Over 150 stitches were required when I got him to the ER. I think he was actually glad to get locked up.

Submitted on 11/26/2005

Submitted by: T. Hill
Reference: 1971

Copyright © 2005 DarwinAwards.com

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James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I like this one, even though it sounds unbelievable (I searched Snopes.com just to make sure, but I didn't find anything). The visual is funny, and the comeuppance is priceless! I'kk vote to keep this one as a PA. Thanks for submitting!

Jack said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Ayup! As a Texan, I can assure you that this is not quite as unbelievable as you might think! Thanks for the submission, Mr. Hill. It made me laugh!

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