The issue of the reliability of lab technicians arose when my friend Mike had burnt his thumb whilst experimenting with some hydrogen peroxide (H202). This had brought up questions about the true concentration of the hydrogen peroxide, which the technicians are responsible for making. Seeing as the solution was only supposed to be 5% (pretty weak, definitely not capable of burning a thumb as badly as it did), we had our suspicions there had been a mix up with the actual concentration, but as lab technicians usually go through a minimum of 3 years’ training, a simple dilution shouldn’t raise difficulties. We discussed this with our chemistry teacher Kevin and he agreed that the concentration was probably a lot higher (possibly 50%). He also pointed out another drama had occurred with the same technician on the same week which could have had a more fatal outcome for our hero.

Kevin had requested a glass jar containing chlorine gas for a class demonstration. Chlorine, a nasty member of the halogen family, which is easily recognised by its swimming pool smell (seen as it’s the main contributor to many cleaners e.g. bleach), was prepared by our hero. For some reason however the message must have been muddled (we’re making no accusations to the technician in question, but looking at what happens later there’s a good chance this was his bad too) because instead of receiving 1 jar containing chlorine gas, Kevin received 10 jars of the deadly gas. Kevin made use of one of the jars, but he requested the other nine be disposed of.

Now our hero had the presence of mind to know chlorine isn’t the kind of stuff you just let out in the lab… unless you have a death wish. He set up the nine jars in a fume cupboard and prepared to let the toxic gas into the outside world. The function of a fume cupboard, with the aid of a vent and fan is to get rid of any dangerous gases formed in a reaction so the lab can be a safe environment for anyone who happens to be using it. However in this case our hero’s memory must have lapsed, as although he did place the jars in the fume cupboard and opened them up, he failed on the two most important points. Yes that’s right folks, as the fan switch sat snuggly in the off position and the vent remained shut, large amounts of chlorine gas diffused into the stuffy enclosed area of the technician’s lab, snaking through the shelves of bunsen burners, copper sulphate and overly concentrated hydrogen peroxide.

Now it must be mentioned at this point that at the time that we had two technicians doing a large number of jobs which normally would require three, but with our science department’s budget reduced, due to more funding going to artistic subjects (I won’t start on that), the department could only afford to employ two. What a costly cut back it might have been, as our hero began inhaling gaseous chlorine.

Those of you who aren’t remotely interested in science, I shall attempt to break it down for you. When our hero inhaled chlorine gas it reacted with water in the lungs. This produced a concentrated hydrochloric acid, which stripped away the inner membrane of his lungs; much like a paint stripper would take off that crap paint your girlfriend chose for the living room. In short, hydrochloric acid in your lungs could draw a comparison with swallowing razors, with the added bonus of losing your sense of smell completely for a good few hours.

Thankfully our hero managed to realise what was happening before the chlorine wiped out his sense of smell and ability to breathe completely, and he quickly bolted for the switches to release the deadly gas out into the open. Not a moment too soon either, the hydrochloric acid had been good enough to rip away the inner lining of the lungs resulting in an unpleasant case of pulmonary oedema, which if left to progress longer would have been fatal.

Now this is only an honourable mention, as our hero survived and we are glad to hear of it. After four days recovering in hospital, it is possible he will be a little more cautious with chlorine in the future. However dear readers, please do consider that with two (maybe three) mistakes in a week (injuring himself and a student), how long before our hero is contending for a Darwin Award?

Submitted on 11/20/2005

Submitted by: Sean McKenna & Michael Licuidi
Reference: From the source!

Copyright © 2005 DarwinAwards.com

James said:
Neutral: Honorable Mention
While your write-up is a bit wordy and hard to read at times, I get the general idea. Chlorine gas was one of the agents used in WWI, so its effects are (or should be) well known to all. The FIRST thing I'd have done is turn on the fan BEFORE opening the tins. My only qualm is what the local ordinances regarding the releasing of such agents are. I wonder if he would even be allowed to release poison gas through a vent and into the air around the school. Regardless, I will vote to keep for now.

Greg said:
Maybe Toss: Honorable Mention
Hmmmm ... definitely a possible HM, but I'm not entirely convinced this is real. I am struggling with the concept of a lab technician firstly being that dumb, and secondly not getting fired before he managed to do anything serious. There's no way (if the details of the story are correct) he would've kept his job for long enough to hand out over-strength acid to school kids!

Charles said:
Neutral: Honorable Mention
I'll argue that Greg doesn't know the school system very well... but all the same I have my doubts about this, as if this guy does manage this sort of thing, he is very likely, when he finally manages to become a contentder, to also eliminate some innocent (and underage) bystanders.

Jack said:
Neutral: Personal Account
I'll reluctantly vote to keep this, but only as a Personal Account. And I have to agree with James about releasing a highly toxic war gas into the environment.

Jorge said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention

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