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2005 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

How Not to Break Glass

2005 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Anyone who works in the ER are true believers in Darwinism. This 'gentleman' that I took care of survived and this is his story. A 45 year old man was drinking with his friends throughout the day while his girlfriend was at work and their child in daycare. Girlfriend comes home with tot, witnesses a rather tipsy boyfriend and cronies. Typical arguement ensues, finally, girlfriend got fed up and not wanting the drunk around their child proceeds to lock him out of the house.

The boyfriend then decided he wanted to be inside and attempted to enter. To his dismay, all doors and windows were locked. He goes back to the porch, by a window next to his work bench and in a very macho fashion, punches his fist through the glass window. The result of which would have allowed him to enter the domicile if he hadn't lacerated his brachial artery in the attempt. Bloody mess ensues and EMS arrives and takes him to the ER. Taxpayers paid for the blood tranfusions and vascular surgery the saved his life. His lowest BP was 70/30 with a heart rate in the 130s.

The kicker is what elevates his complete stupidity was that on his work bench right next to the window was a nice and hefty hammer in plain sight.

Submitted on 11/17/2005

Submitted by: Fred
Reference: Occur in San Antonio TX, 2004

Copyright © 2005 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
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>> Moderator Scores <<

Sheryl said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Giggles. I love the last sentence. I'm assuming the work bench was outside with him? I can't find anything similar in a search. Thanks for the story, Fred.

James said:
Neutral: Personal Account
I commend you, Fred, both for a funny write-up AND for the fact that as an ER worker you will care for deadbeats and cretins just as readily and professionally as you would the rest of us! As for the story, I found it most amusing and worthy of keeping as a PA! A hammer at the ready and he uses his fist...well, keep 'em coming as you get 'em, Fred!

Greg said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Yes, I like this one a lot! :-) Thanks!

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