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Darwin Awards
2005 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Who needs a wake

2005 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Around two p.m. on November the 13th, an Elyria,OH resident left one of our local bars. As he drove down a side street (no more than three blocks from the police station mind you) he felt the need to speed up. Upon nearing the end of the street, he failed to see either the stop sign or the cemetary ahead. Instead of trying to veer right or left to stay on the road, he hit a large stone pillar that was holding up a fence. His car was sent airborne, flipping and landing on it's top just inside the graveyard and the was killed instantly. After the ambulance took the deceased to the hospital morgue I overheard one of the bystanders say, "Who needs a wake, they might as well wake the family up and tell'em to bring some shovels!"

Submitted on 11/16/2005

Submitted by: Dendra Schwarz
Reference: Obituary has yet to post

Copyright © 2005 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
Love it! Hate it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
While this could easily be written off as too common, the fact that he wiped out right inside a cemetary is just too cartoony good to pass up! The write up (especially the last part) was funny enough for me to vote to keep as a PA. Of course, do please submit the obituary when it comes in, or any other news of this incident which might appear in your local paper if you want to upgrade this to a DA hopeful...

Sheryl said:
Maybe Toss: Personal Account
Thanks, Dendra, I love the write-up. The only thing that worries me is that he was perhaps impaired by drink and the whole thing was just an accident. Failing to see a stop sign, failing to veer - these things worry me. Maybe passed out or heart attack while driving?

Greg said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Well the fact he was drink driving makes it more than an accident because he was stupid and arrogant enough drink knowing he was going to drive home. But I still don't know if it isn't Too Common. I'll go "Neutral".

Charles said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Without the obituary / post mortem, Sheryl's point is very valid: what was wrong with him, if anything apart from drink? The fact that he sped up, and went straight through the stop sign, does have some hallmarks of a cardiac event...

Jack said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Dendra, a quick search of the Elyria, OH Chronicle Telegraph archives failed to turn up this story. I'm afraid that you'll have to give us more information. Sorry.

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