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Darwin Awards
2005 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Just Peachy

2005 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

In Rock Springs, Wyoming my Brother-in-law was once a city police officer. Whenever we'd have family gatherings he had the best stories. This one is worth sharing: A man walks into a Mini-Mart wearing a long trench coat, walks around and picks up a few items, reads the labels and decides to keep one for purchasing. When he's the only costumer, he walks up to the counter and lays his "member" on the counter along with a can of peaches that he's decided to buy. The cashier picks up the can and rings up the price then procedes to slam the can of peaches on his penis. He's laying in his own stupidity and she calls for the ambulance and is rushed to the ER. I'm pretty sure he qualifies.

Submitted on 11/02/2005

Submitted by: Nancy Moore
Reference: word of mouth pre-1995

Copyright © 2005 DarwinAwards.com

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>> Moderator Scores <<

James said:
Neutral: Personal Account
That sure is a funny story, Nancy! He laid his "money" on the counter and the cashier rang up "no sale"! Hard to say if it qualifies, because we don't know whether or not the slammed can did permanent damage to his member. Also, the trenchcoat suggests he was a masher, and he may or may not have been mentally ill. In fact, I'd lean toward it not qualifying for that reason (and my fellow moderators may concur), but the "visual" is so hilarious that I am going to vote to keep it as a PA anyway!

Greg said:
Neutral: Personal Account
This is a good story for my vote. Our brush with Dr Karl (see previous Slush Pile entry, Lawnmower Love) implies that sexual fetishes, including "flashing" as it's known in the UK, are not mental illnesses. Given that fact, I think this qualifies to go the vote as a PA. Good stuff. I'm still chuckling.

Tracy said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I like it! Made me laugh!

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