In 1995 I owned a retail greenhouse in Wisconsin. One day, I decided to run a special on cacti: something like $2.99 each.

I noticed a gentleman by the cactus rack, and I started heading his direction to see if I could assist him. He did not see me. He also did not want assistance.

I noticed him put one small barrel cactus (nice and spiny) into his left front pocket. I cut him off from exiting, and asked if I could help him.

He maneuvered around and obviously wanted to leave. I couldn't do to much (I wasn't going to grab the thing, and calling the police for a little cactus?), so I stood in the way, and the fellow muttered something about needing to go, and went around the table. Bumping the cactus, and the connected spines, on the table edge.

It was worth losing the cactus so I could watch the color drain from his face as he hit the table then headed out the door to his car. He got pricked in the in the prick.

Thanks,

Eric Levy

Submitted on 09/28/2005

Submitted by: Eric Levy
Reference: my own store, spring 1995

Copyright © 2005 DarwinAwards.com

Greg said:
Maybe Toss: Other
Jeeeez, why would he steal a small cactus?! I like the story, maybe a PA, but I'm not sure if he came close enough to losing his manhood...

James said:
Maybe Toss: Other
I have to concur with Greg. Your story would make a great morality skit. I enjoy reading tales of folks like this cactus thief getting their comeuppance, but other than suffering pain and embarrassment, the fellow did not seem to lose his ability to reproduce; hence, I cannot qualify this. Again, great story, just the same!!

Jack said:
Neutral: Personal Account
As a personal account, I like it. Thanks, Eric.

Jorge said:
Neutral: Personal Account

Charles said:
Neutral: Personal Account
I have to admit that I like it too. Getting stabbed that way for a $3 theft... maybe not Darwinian, quite, but close... and likely the cactus was damaged enough that he got _absolutely_ no benefit from stealing it.

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