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Darwin Awards
2005 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
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Doctor's Orders Smorders

2005 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

My grandfather passed this story to me concerning my grandmother's great-grandfather. Apparently he wasn't all that bright, because his father-in-law referred to him as "The Idiot". What he did to deserve this title is now forgotten, but his foolishness finally caught up with him on the operating table.

He had some problem in his gut, so he went to his doctor to find out what was wrong. The diagnosis remains unknown, but it was some common ailment that can be fixed with a simple surgical operation. The doctor scheduled the operation and told him to eat only a light meal the night before and nothing after midnight. The reason for this is that when an incision is made to the abdomen, the stomach vomits, and doctors want it to be empty when it does so.

My great-great-great-grandfather apparently thought that he knew more than the doctor did about what he could eat, and had a big dinner the night before the surgery, followed by a full breakfast the next morning. As you would expect at this point, when the surgeons cut him open, he threw up and choked to death on his own vomit.

Fortunately, such Darwin-grade stupidity has not made any subsequent appearances in my family.

Submitted on 09/26/2005

Submitted by: Derek Carter
Reference:

Copyright © 2005 DarwinAwards.com

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Kelly said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account


James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Thanks for submitting that amusing story, Derek!


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