This happened to me in 1967 after watching the Star Trek episode Arena. In this episode Captain Kirk battles a lizard like creature called a Gorn. He defeats the lizard man by making a crude cannon. Well, being an impressionable young man of 22, I decided to make a cannon just like Captain Kirk.

I mixed my own gunpowder at first, buying the ingredients from a local drug store. In 1967 you could get all the ingredients right off the shelf. I couldn't get the mixture right so my brass cannon book end didn't fire. In frustration I poured my badly mixed gunpowder on a flagstone in my back yard lighting it with a firecracker wick. The wick burned right into the pile of gunpowder and apparently went out. I warily edged up to the flagstone closer and closer until my face was a few inches from the pile of gunpowder. To my horror I noticed that the edge of the mound of gunpowder was still crackling. I tried to turn away but the whole mound went up in a flash as the crackling hit the center of the pile. I was sure I was blinded forever but my sight returned after several hours. This minor setback didn't deter me, it only strengthened my resolve to fire my Star Trek cannon.

I then took several shot gun shells I had from hunting and cut them up to get the gunpowder. I'm not sure how many I cut up but it was quite a few. I then took my cannon and loaded it with the real gunpowder from my shot gun shells packing it by using toliet paper a screwdriver and a hammer to make sure it was tight. I was fortunate that a didn't create a spark right then and blow myself up. I then loaded my Star Trek cannon with a ball bearing as a cannon ball.

Finally my Star Trek cannon was ready to fire. For some inexplicable reason I placed the cannon behind an old 60's style barbecue pit. These style barbecue pits were massive made of bricks and concrete. The one in my Backyard was about eight feet long and six feet tall. Quite a massive structure. I placed bricks on each side of the cannon and behind it and aimed the cannon at a nearby tree.

Joyfully I lit the firecrack wick at the back of the cannon. As the wick caught fire I thought to myself "This thing may explode." I casually walked around to the other side of the barbecue pit reaching the otherside just as a massive explosion threw me to the ground. Dazed and shaken with my ears ringing I stood up and check myself for damage. Thankfully I was unhurt.

My girlfriend at the time opened the back door and asked "What the hell was that explosion?". I came up with a quick and plausible answer, "Honey, you put another areosol hair spray can in the incinerator." We lived outside of garbage pick-up and burnt our trash in a incinerator. She bought my clever lie, because I happen to be burning trash at the same time as firing my cannon. She then went back inside the house after exclaiming "My goodness that explosion almost broke the windows, I'll be more careful from now on." Just as she closed the door the carriage of the cannon thudded into the ground less than two feet from me. The cannon barrel was completely blown apart as was the bricks that supported the cannon. The explosion created a two foot wide by six inched deep crater I conveniently blamed on the dog. The concussion from the blast cracked my massive barbecue pit. Months later I blamed that on an earthquake.

I later theorized that the force of the blast was channeled downward by my placement of bricks causing the carriage to be shot into the air. The carriage then got hung up in the branches above me of the tree where I had aimed my Star Trek cannon. Gravity finally brought the carriage crashing down pointy end first just missing me.

I count myself lucky that my Star Trek cannon didn't remove me from the gene pool. Better luck next time I guess.

Submitted on 09/11/2005

Submitted by: Kevin Keogh
Reference: Personal Account 1967

Copyright © 2005 DarwinAwards.com

Kelly said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
There's a reason that special effects guys are required to have a degree in chemistry before they can become licensed.

James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
A very amusing tale! You survived the blast, and your girlfriend (AND your dog) take the blame for the damage. Amazing.... few of us are so lucky under such circumstances. I guess you lived and learned...!

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