Charles Darwin's Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
Honorable Mentions
Urban Legends
Personal Accounts
Slush Pile
2005 September Slush
smokin' bandit
Rocky the Frying Squirrel
Spear Fishing II
Flying Blind (It Would Seem)
Hydro extracted
Tree Catapult
Star Trek Cannon
Crime pays...not!
Old mine still has OOMPH!
Pricked in the prick
Those Who Dare to Rob the Mob
Fishy Fueling Fiasco
Oh Bouy, Here We Go Again!
Going downhill
Save the Hedgehogs
Marine Mechanic Mishap
Don
Signs of war...
Dog Shoots Man - More URLs
Skateboard Luge
Lawnmower Love
Home Made BUllets
Chemical Warfare For Beginners
Man dies, 100,000 lose power
Neighbors Delight Rabid Idocy
Least Competent Criminal
Re: Dog Shoots Hunter
Penis Knot
Mirror, mirror, on the wall
Doctor's Orders Smorders
shake rattle and boom
Chopper vs Pipeline
Mountain Biking Mishap
Flamethrowing Fire Extinguishe
What was she thinking?
Nordic Lightning
Ski Jumper... Not.
Tooth fish captain dies in alc
an does "Spidey" Leap, Falls
Re: Flying Blind
Dog shoots hunter
Woman run over, killed on I-15
Older Slush 
 
~ Randomizer ~
Newsletter
Gift Shop
Rules – Search
Contact Darwin
SiteMap
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2005 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Spear Fishing II

2005 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

A group of college friends and I have a habit of going spear fishing every few months. One of us had speared his genitals in a spear fishing accident while drunk a few months previously during spring break (the story "Spear Fishing"). He had finally broken down and decided to come with us again.

While he had given up drinking at the urging of his fiancee, his intelligence had apparently not improved. This time, he had brought his fiancee along and was showing her how to release fish from the spear gun, which happened to be the same model he shot himself with previously. While showing her the ring system on the butt of the gun, he was holding it with his hand in the trigger guard, and when his hand slipped (he had neglected to wear the textured gloves recommended to divers because underwater, most things are slippery), he once again shot himself, this time in the stomach. Once again we drove him to the hospital, where the same receptionist who had greeted us when we brought him in the first time happened to be there, and recognized us! She slyly asked if he had come back to finish the job he had started a few months ago.

Submitted on 09/07/2005

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference: None, July 29, 2005

Copyright © 2005 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
Love it! Hate it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

Kelly said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
Ok, this one deserves an award. Completely sober...I hope he gives up spear fishing for good this time.

Tracy said:
Neutral: Personal Account
This shows a learning curve too! Please keep in contact, so that you can submit a future DA story :-)

James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
TWICE??? He REALLY ought to take up something safer like stamp collecting...I can already hear the fish wisecracking to themselves: "Oh, yeah, THIS lummox again...he couldn't hit a haddock in the buttocks, &c &c...!" Hopefully his fiancee will talk him out of spear fishing, or else this fellow may very well win a Darwin on the inevitable "third strike"...!

The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom

Keep yourself out of the gene pool!
A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item!
Friends don't let friends reproduce!
$13 for Pack of 4

 

 

Slush Pile
Slush Pile Rejects

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend