Before diving, he made the questionable decision of drinking a few beers (he was the only one amongst us who drank). Later, while underwater, he decided to check on his fish. His spear gun is a unique model that is roughly the size of a submachine gun, and has a ring affixed to the butt for keeping fish. He needed to stablize the gun, and he found a convenient outcropping of rock that fit nicely into the trigger guard. What happened next is fairly predictable. While checking the fish, he pressed downward on the gun, and fired a spear. The spear easily penetrated his wetsuit (the spear tip was only about 1" away) and pierced his groin, lancing through the base of his penis and through his scrotum. Needless to say, this was painful in the extreme, and we managed to get him to the surface and to a hospital (though the last was rather reluctant on his part). There he was informed that one of his testicles had been pierced and several nerves severed. He would still be capable of procreation, but would have a difficult time sustaining an erection and would have low sperm count. Not quite sterile, but very close. As far as I know, he's never gone spear fishing again.

Submitted on 04/01/2005

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference: None, March 30, 2004

Copyright © 2005 DarwinAwards.com

Daniel said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Drinking and diving don't mix.

Kelly said:
Maybe Toss: Personal Account
not all that funny but it might be a useful cautionary tale. Drinking and doing anything that requires alertness don't mix.

Charles said:
Neutral: Personal Account
As Daniel said. Not, perhaps, quite funny enough, but certainly a reasonable cautionary tale. I don't know if a rewrite would salvage it.

Jack said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
After reading the story (and I rather doubt if it could be made amusing...), I think that it's worth putting up for the final judges - our readers - to decide whether or not they like it.

Tracy said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Ouch - I'm not sure if this could be written up to be funny enough to be a DA - but it's definitely worth keeping I think

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