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2005 March Slush
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Darwin Awards
2005 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Education money can't buy

2005 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

After high school, several friends and I moved on to higher learning at Iowa State University. One day a member of our gang of misfits, nick-named Huey, was having an argument with his roommate over the flammability of flatulence. The roommate refused to believe that you could actually light a fart. Huey, never one to refuse a challenge proceeded to gorge himself on beans for lunch to prove his point. Around 3:00pm Huey felt the inevitable effects of mass consumption of legumes. Wanting to display the full effects of fuel air combustion he laid on his back on the bed and thrust his posterior into the air. He pulled his shorts down around his ankles exposing his derrière and lit a lighter. He was facing towards the open door of the doom room. At that moment the two girls that were dating the two guys across the hall came looking for their beaus. Not finding them in their prospective room they looked in the open door across the hall. At that moment Huey let loose a gastronomic bomb. Flames shot across the room 5 feet straight at the unsuspecting coeds in the doorway. Huey, being of Lebanese decent, had a very hairy buttocks….the operative word being “had”. The flames singed most of the hair off Huey's hindquarters and he flew off the bed screaming and running around the room with his pants around his ankles. The two announced victims in the door way were screaming at the top of their lungs at the sight of flames shooting out of someone's arse and nearing setting them on fire. The rest of us in the room were too amazed and amused by the spectacle to do anything but fall to the floor and laugh hysterically.

If nominate my friend Huey (currently a heart surgeon) for honorable mention for surviving this episode and becoming the highlight of my college career.

Submitted on 03/08/2005

Submitted by: Valkyrie PenDragon
Reference: March 1976

Copyright © 2005 DarwinAwards.com

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>> Moderator Scores <<

Daniel said:
Maybe Toss: Personal Account
Amusing, but could use a better write up. Spell check is a good tool.

Charles said:
Maybe Toss: Other
Definitely amusing, but the risk to life or reproductive ability is minimal, and I don't quite see how it belongs on this site. Also it is very common for this sort of act to go wrong this way; at least he was smart emough to pull down his pants so that they too did not catch on fire.

Jack said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Oh, I don't know. This is, after all just a PA, and we generally give PAs more slack. The story made me laugh. And that's good enough for me.

Kelly said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I agree with Jack. it's a good story and as a personal account I would like to keep it. Risk to reproductive ability was actualy not minimul since the area that was charred is right next to the area that reproduces.

Tracy said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
It's a funny story - and a good PA. I've got one too - one of the guys on a Rugby Tour lit his farts, and got "suck-back" - his heart stopped because of the shock, and he had to be revived - not quite as funny as yours :)

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