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2005 February Slush
Dangerous Deoderant
Sucked In
Hangliding fun
Foul Ball, Strikes One
HOBART: Victim asked to be sho
Fondling magnetos
Firecracker fumble
Skateboarding by Car
Elephants and landmines
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Dumb and Dumber
killed by landmine mistake
Death by sleigh riding.
"goldenaxe" move reenacted
Seadoo Thief Freezes to Death
Hot kicking
swiming burglar
Illegal Alien Popsicle
But it's MY motorcycle
Almost lucky...
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2005 Slush Pile

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Fondling magnetos

2005 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

To the best of my knowledge the individual in this story is still able to procreate, so it will only qualify as an honourable mention.

During my days in the Canadian Air Force I've worked at the Gliding School instructing cadets. One night we officers had a competition to see who could hold on to the four leads of an aircraft magneto the longest. For those of you who don't know what a magneto is (or what it does), it uses magnets to produce a powerful high voltage electric current to fire the starters of an aircraft. Finally, one by one we all dropped out and we put up a bet for Captain Smith*. We pooled all of our money and Captain Smith* put all four leads of the magneto on his left testicle. As you can imagine, Captain Smith* dropped like a sack of potatoes.

Nobody was able to assist Captain Smith* because we were all laughing too damn hard to breathe, let alone move. To add insult to injury, Mrs Smith* (his wife) chose this very moment to walk in. She took one look at her husband, and started doing what wives are naturally best at doing (bitching him out, "What's wrong with you, I want kids someday.....")

In time Captain Smith* was able to stand without screaming, but he probably won't be playing with magnetos any time soon.

*Names have been changed so my colleagues don't beat me senseless.

Submitted on 02/28/2005

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference: Summer of 2003

Copyright © 2005 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
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>> Moderator Scores <<

Daniel said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Pretty stupid.


Jack said:
Neutral: Personal Account


Charles said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Does seem to be a good honest try for a DA... did he get his money?


Kelly said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account


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