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2005 January Slush
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Buglary Balls Up
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Spitting Fireballs
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Darwin Awards
2005 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Spitting Fireballs

2005 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

A 19 year old guy Jacob Alexander in Largo Florida was in a hardcore band and loveto showoff how hardcore he was. Well one night he got really drunk at a local bar that didn't know he was underage; Mickey Quinns. I took him home to make sure he didn't hurt himself and then went home myself. Later that same night his friends called and said they were drinking and came and picked him up to drink with them. At the house they started talking about manly stuff and showing off. Now typically when he would blow fireballs Jake would suck the fluid out of a regular lighter, spit it out while lighting it and making a fireball. While this works ok with lighter fluid gasoline is a different story and acts differently. His lighter didn't have enough fluid so he decided to siphon gas off of the lawnmower and use that instead. The first fireball was a success, so he figured he could make it better. The second time, he took enough gasoline to make his cheeks bulge and spit that while trying to light it, this time it didn't work as well. The lit gasoline went back onto his face and set him on fire. His friends shoved his face into the dirt and put out the fire, as if this was not stupid enough. When his friends wanted to take him to the hospital he wanted to be manly and didn't think he was hurt too badly (translated drunk and feeling no pain). The next day when I called him he told me what happened, I immediately went over to his apartment where I saw how bad it was. He thought if he put neosporin on it, that everything would be ok. I had to call his mother and take him to the hospital. He survived with little scarring because of where the burns were, the police were called in to investigate and confiscated his fake ID. The bar he went to underage was notified and he was no longer allowed to come inside the bar. I know this does not qualify for a darwin award but I think it definitly deserves something. A sad note to add, since he did not suffer extensive damage he still does his trick, just no longer with gasoline.

Submitted on 01/28/2005

Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference: personal experience july 2004

Copyright © 2005 DarwinAwards.com

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Daniel said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
I was going to let this one go until the point where he still does it. You might mention to him that even lighter fluid will cause irreparable damage over time.

Charles said:
Definitely Keep: Honorable Mention
As Daniel said. If he had learned his lesson, that would have made him ineligible for consideration. I fail to see why pushing his face into the dirt is a bad idea; that's as close to "stop, drop, and roll" as he could get -- so his friends were smart even if he wasn't.

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