Charles Darwin's Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
Honorable Mentions
Urban Legends
Personal Accounts
Slush Pile
2005 January Slush
Once lucky... twise... well...
hunter becomes the hunted
Shit! Shit? SHIT!
Kieper: "Repeal Seatbelt Laws"
See What I Can Still Do
Not So Happy Camper
A Sinking Feeling
4X4's and invulnerability
Can't see my speeeecccss...
Lowering the Boom
Cleaning chimney with a bomb
Bridge Suspension
Tsunami in South Srbia?
Off With Your Head!
Chemist Meets His Match
Invulnerable BMW driver
Buglary Balls Up
Woman dies after fall from hot
Woman Blows up Home
Guns unloaded?
Spitting Fireballs
Butaine is only for refills
Rebel Road
Darwinian, One Piece At A Time
SUV + Quicksand = RIP
Swan dive
Win(e)dBreak- Personal Account
Click it or ticket!
teens freeze to death while hi
Private Irons Out Problems
Explosive p(l)an
Christmas Tree Explosion
Petrol Braai (Barbeque)
Slush Pile 
 
~ Randomizer ~
Newsletter
Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
SiteMap
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2005 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Win(e)dBreak- Personal Account

2005 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Being one of those teenagers who cant wait to start the next exciting adventure, it was a lovely surprise to hear of a beach party that was happening the night of my unfortunate accident. I went along with a bottle of wine in one hand , and a windbreak in the other. Meeting my friends, I was given a crate of beers to put onto the beach to keep cool. My idea was one of great intelligence. I would put the windbreak up, and use it to collect a small pool of sea water, in which i would put the beers. Everyone said I should try it ... So, I did !

Whilst looking for a rock or some other heavy object to use as a makeshift mallet, i cam across my wine bottle. Why not? I steadied the post with my hand, took aim and delievered a few blows to the top of the first post. Upon the fifth blow, the bottom of the wine bottle gave way. Unbalanced forces caused the wine bottle to keep going down the post and directly into my left hand. 8 hours of hospital later and my index finger's ligament was all ready to start healing. Moral of the story? Its not the alcohol that injures, its the doofus thats holding it..

Submitted on 01/25/2005

Submitted by: Simon Ferris
Reference: 15th July 2004

Copyright © 2005 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
Love it! Hate it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

Daniel said:
Maybe Toss: Too Common
Since you mention being a teenager, I'll mention our maturity rule.


Charles said:
Maybe Toss: Other
I have to agree with Daniel. Yeah, you were young, you didn't know any better... I hope you've learned something from this little escapade.


Jack said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Oh, I don't know. Please remember that the Maturity rule isn't applied quite as strictly for a PA as it would be for a DA or HM. Besides which, it made me grin.


Kelly said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Burned hand teaches best, or in this case, sliced hand. I do hope you didn't do that again.


Tracy said:
Neutral: Personal Account
Just need to try a little harder next time, and you might become a DA - or have you learnt your lesson? I did the same thing - trying to push a glass tube through a cork in my chemistry set, the tube broke and went straight into my finger - still have the scar!!!


The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom

Keep yourself out of the gene pool!
A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item!
Friends don't let friends reproduce!
$13 for Pack of 4

 

 

Slush Pile
Slush Pile Rejects

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend