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2005 January Slush
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Darwin Awards
2005 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
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Buglary Balls Up

2005 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

This is a personal account of a few days ago, where I narrowly missed both certain death and infertility. Being locked out of my house on a Friday afternoon I was not to be deterred by a lack of keys! The only entry was a small window at the very top of a large 2 storie Victorian House. Thankfully there was an extendable ladder down the side. I placed the ladder agiainst the ledge and scaled it with the help of an amateurish ladder holder of a friend. As I got to the top I decided that going in head first was not the best option as it was a 6ft drop from the window to the floor. Leg first was the way to go, so I squeezed myself through finally lifting my right leg off the extremely wobbly ladder. At that point I realised that there was no going back. with one leg inside the house and one leg outside, I realised that my modest 32" inside leg was not long enough to reach the window sill. On my attempt I lost my balance and managed to avert the 20ft drop on to the concrete below and fell inwards instead. One of the problems however was that English windows use a blunt metal stud to hold the window open. A 'Flossing' action followed as I flopped into the bedroom, unfortunately my scortum wasn't as keen to get into the house as I was, and clung to said stud. Thankfully it only required 4 stitches, but as it hasn't been three days since the injury, I am yet to see if it becomes infected, if it does then the chances are I have qualified for a Darwin after all! (though I sincerely hope not!)

Submitted on 01/24/2005

Submitted by: Roderick Beer
Reference: England - 21/01/05

Copyright © 2005 DarwinAwards.com

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>> Moderator Scores <<

Jack said:
Neutral: Personal Account
This is one of the better "breaking into one's own home" stories in a while. Thank you. And I sincerely hope that you recover successfully!

Daniel said:
Neutral: Personal Account
While I hope you recover, I'm not sure you should reproduce. (chuckle) A very good story.

Charles said:
Neutral: Personal Account
I do hope you recover... but if you make a habit of this sort of escapade, perhaps you and your GF might prefer to not reproduce? Once, I think we can pardon, though.

Kelly said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
I really hope you don't get that award. An extra set of keys might be a good investment!

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