Soilent green ... it's humans! 
2003 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
A friend of mine once worked at a biohazard disposal facility in California for a few months in the early 80's, I think, anyway long before I knew him. This particular facility was in a marginally rural part of the state, and as such did a bumper trade in disposing of dead animals.
The disposal process required that these animals be "converted" into a more manageable form. In fact they were processed through a large auger, which spit the ground meat onto a long conveyor where they were then further processed appropriately.
One day, after making a full round of pick-ups, which included a frozen Great Dane from the local vet, my friend and his partner returned to the facility to grind up the pets and finish off their shift. As they pulled up they came to the agreement that the partner would handle the bodies, and my friend would file the paperwork. So, off went my friend to the office, while his partner began grinding up dead animals one by one.
Normally, the animals were small enough that it was only necessary to lift one of the two heavy grates that covered the feeding spout on the top of the machine. A Great Dane could just about fit, but of course Great Danes are quite large, and this one being both dead and frozen made it somewhat cumbersome to handle. So, the partner called my friend out of the office to help him heave it up and into the auger.
So, seeing that his partner couldn't manage on his own, my friend begrudgingly left his paperwork and helped, but ran back inside as soon as they'd thrown it in. However, the job wasn't over yet, because the frozen dog had gotten stuck inside the tapered feeding spout and wasn't going down with any of the feeble pokes and prods the partner was giving it. Or at least that's what my friend asumed, sinse it was somewhat common to have a blockage with a large animal, and anyway you could hear when something when through the auger.
At this point my friend assumed his partner would handle the situation and returned his attention to his paperwork. After a few minutes he only barely registered the sound of what he thought was a frozen Great Dane being ground instantly into dogburger.
Only a moment later he finished his work and went back out side to invite his partner for an after work beer. Thinking it strange that the van was still parked in front of the auger only partly unloaded he began to look for his partner who was nowhere in sight. My friend assumed he must have been angered at being left to deal with the stuck dog on his own and just left early impolitely lefting the rest of the work for him to do.
After some more wasted time spent looking for his partner, he finished unloading and was moving round to the end of the conveyor to shut down when he noticed some material on the belt. He recognized it as the sleeve of a uniform. On closer inspection, a portion of his partner's hand was still inside.
As it turns out, the Great Dane needed quite a bit more force to get through the feeder than could be mustered from the ground, and rather than pulling the hulking beast out and working overtime to cut it in two, the partner climbed up on top of the auger and standing on the closed grate tried to push the dog through the feeding spout with the weigh of his foot. Apparently the grate gave out, and dog and man went through together.
The coroner identified a ten foot section of conveyor as the last resting place of my friend's partner, but couldn't fully distinguish what was man and what was animal.
Submitted on 11/14/2003
Submitted by:
Anonymous
Reference:
Second Hand witness 1980?
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